Not a Soul!
by MajorMutation
Summary: They've been together for a year and a half, and have been in love even longer. But they're the only ones that know that. After they decide to go away together for a romantic weekend to a secluded bed and breakfast in the mountains, they find that their secret romance is at risk of being exposed to the entire school. (From the author of Can't See the Forest and When the Sun Rises)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this story came about out of cabin fever. With this stupid ice storm, I've been off work, and have been bored out of my mind. **

**I've tried to take a crack at writing in first person. I really hope you guys like it. **

**Summary: They've been together for a year and a half so far, and have been in love with each other even longer, but they are the only ones that know. But after they go away together for an extended weekend to a secluded and romantic Inn, their relationship is threatened when someone finds out about them.**

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You know, sometimes, I really hate being a teenager.

And I know, I know, but it's not for the reasons you hear those whiny, uptight, MTV teens you hear spouting on those stupid reality shows that my generation seems to be obsessed with. It's not because of the pressures of being a teenager, or the temptations that are out there, the decisions that I'm told have to be made, like colleges, careers, et cetra. It's because I seem to have the brain that's too mature to be trapped in a teenagers body.

Yeah, I get it. It sounds a bit stuck up and presumptuous to say that. I mean, I sound like '_The Rhonda Wellington Lloyd'_ when I say that. I can even picture myself shoving my nose into the stratosphere and sashaying as I say it, but come on, these idiots I have to put up with on a daily basis do nothing but prove my point. There's a saying that I've heard that we are one chromosome away from chimpanzees... and it shows. And it shows pretty obviously in the imbeciles at the high school I'm forced to attend.

Another crappy song starts playing on my phone and I dig it out of my pocket, hitting skip on the next few until I can find something that actually sounds appealing. There are just times when none of my music sounds good, and this morning is one of those times. I always hate these times. I settle on an old punk song and shove my phone back into my pocket, picking up the speed of my walk. I don't know why. It's not like I'm in a rush to get to school, and it's not like the bell is going to ring in ten minutes, and I'm still fifteen minutes away.

Bob may have been able to make his profits soar when he branched out in product, but his ego went with it. I mean, I'm the daughter of the famous 'Big Bob Pataki', you'd think someone with that kind of reputation wouldn't want his own flesh and blood to be seen walking to school every morning. But alas, I'm stuck with my old skate shoes being my only mode of transportation.

What was I saying before? That stupid pop punk song that came on distracted me. Oh yeah, hating being a teenager.

I guess it's not all bad. And I guess when you compare my life to others, it isn't so bad, when you look at it as a whole that is. But I guess I was always one to focus on the small details, and I've found that it's always the small details that are always the most damning in a person. It's always been my biggest flaw. I always look for a persons weakness before their strengths. I guess it's because when they decide to cross me, it's so I can exploit it that much easier.

Damn it, there I go again, talking about something that has nothing to do with what I was saying before. My mind is usually one big jumbled mess, but I've learned to live with it, surprising as that is.

Geez, I can almost gag looking at the morons I have to share eight hours of my day with, sitting on the steps outside of the school. All their cliques, how they all pass judgment, as if they were somehow endowed with the position to deem me worthy of them or not. What sickens me even more is that it's exactly who you'd expect it to be. The jocks and their cheerleaders. How much more cliche can you be?

Before I cross the street, I dig my phone back out and turn up the volume on this fast paced punk song that I just restarted. Not because I want to drown out their stupid gossip, but because I want them to hear it, just because it's not that sappy, emotional garbage they call music, done by some jerk off with a keyboard in his basement. I look away and avoid eye contact as I always do and jump up the steps just as the bell rang to go to class.

I guess I'll have to catch up with Pheebs a little later. As Hillwood High's front page saunter ahead of me, taking their snobby attitude with them, I scoff loud enough for them to hear me, and only roll my eyes when that stupid Kathy glares back at me. I know I'm a bitch, but in high school, it's survival of the fittest.

I catch the eye of one of the schools hall monitors, and this one knows me by name. He sends me his usual glare and I let out a sigh and pull out my ear phones. Man, I didn't know they could go that loud. I chuckle as I pause the music on my phone. That balding douche hates it that I have no respect for authority. I slid my thumb across the screen of my two year old phone, caught up in turning it to silent, that when I absentmindedly turned the corner to head to first period, it wasn't until I felt my ass hit the linoleum that I realize I ran into someone.

Great, now my ass is going to hurt all day thanks to whatever mindless idiot I just ran into. I suck in a breath, preparing my vocal chords to tell off the person, until I look over and see him sitting on the floor, rubbing his head. The deep breath I had breathed caught, and I guess it's lucky he hadn't met my eye line yet. I look past him and over to the cheerleaders and their arm candy, seeing some of them looking over at me. If they were to get wind of us, it would ruin me.

"Is that stupidly shaped head of yours still too thick to hold a brain in it?!" I crack, saying the first sarcastic remark that comes to mind. I get to my feet again, groaning at the dull, throbbing pain pulsing in my aching tail bone. I brush off some imaginary dust from my pant leg, just so I don't have to help him up. If I were to do that, I might just blow it all.

"Sorry Helga, I guess I wasn't looking."

His voice is so sexy when he's apologizing to me. "You guess?" I rhetorically ask him, still brushing my hands against my thighs. "Why don't you do me a favor and have an idea the next time you're walking?" I know it will kill me, especially with _them _watching, but I can't help it. I know he is smiling at me. I flick my eyes up to him, and sure enough, that stupid, shit eating smirk is gracing his lips.

"I'll remember that." He says and steps around me, brushing past me way too close. He's only smiling because he knows that they can't see him. What the hell is he thinking?! I look over my shoulder with a scowl, just to make my irritation seem real to them. I'm already late for class, and Mrs. Leonard already has it out for me anyway. That old bat likes everybody but me. I guess it's because I have a little something called a spine.

By the time I decide to turn ahead to actually go to class, the schools celebrities are gone, and the bell buzzes over my head. I can feel that stupid hall monitors eyes bore into the back of my head, probably trying to make me actually care that I'm late for my french class. But come on, the only reason I took this stupid class was because I needed a foreign language and the options were in alphabetical order, making french the first on the list, and the amount of how much I care the last on mine.

I open the door to the classroom, and disregard the eyes going to me, including the teachers and her stupid french accent, greeting us for the morning. I bet this bag of bones hasn't even been to France. I tune out when I sit in my seat in the back of class while I doodle in my notebook. When I hear the class go quiet, I look around and see that she has assigned us some crap that she didn't go over with us. Stupid broad doesn't know how to teach, but what do you want for thirty grand a year?

I look up to the clock and smile to myself. He's always right on time. And it's amazing, and not amazing that we haven't really drawn any suspicion. I pull out my planner from my backpack and go up to her desk and tossed it down in front of her. I shift my weight and cross my arms and look away, waiting for her to sign it. I see her hand it back to me and I grab it and make for the door, trying to hide my anticipation.

I turn and head down the hall towards our usual meeting place, and decide to look over my planner. Holy crap, we've done this a lot. It's only a month and a half into our junior year, and the back of my planner is almost full of teachers signatures, signing me out to give me permission to 'go to the ladies room'. I laugh and pick up my pace. I slow down a bit when I see another one of the stupid hall monitors look at me. It's not always a good thing to be on a first name basis with those pricks. I slow down to a very slow walk until he looks away and walks down the hall way that cuts across the one I'm in.

I let out a sigh of relief, but hear a door open next to me. I know it's him, but still, my heart skips gleefully as I feel his warm hand grab my wrist and yank me in. I feel myself giggle as darkness clouds my vision, hearing the door slam closed. I never have time to brace myself whenever he gets here before me, but then again, neither does he when I get here first.

Just like he usually does, he grabs onto my other wrist and pins them against the wall down by my sides, my skin already crawling with excitement. He was busy helping his parents all weekend, so my body is a bit frustrated. But as he steps into me, I can tell that he is to. My sense of victory over him is stolen when I feel his warm breath fan off me, and sense his lips just centimeters away from mine. "Apologize..." He said in his husky voice, even sexier than it is when he's playing along with my insults.

"For _what_?" I ask, keeping my voice down so no one who might be passing can hear us... although it's an exciting thought.

"Helga..." He warns me. I chuckle and lean my head forward to try and catch his lips, but I can feel him pulling back.

"Fine." I give in. I don't know why he always makes me apologize. I'm just keeping up the act, and he knows that. "I'm sorry. Can we make out now?" I whine. I haven't seen him all weekend, and he was busy with band on Friday.

I expect him to accept my apology, he always does. But this time he surprises me by smashing his lips against mine, kissing me with the passion that we usually have to work our way up to. He legs go of my wrists and pushes me against the wall, his hips pressing against mine so much so that I can feel the weight lift off my feet. His tongue finds mine after not that much effort given into looking for it, and I wrap my feet around his calves, my arms going around his skinny shoulders.

"Helga," He says into my mouth. He changed his toothpaste again. It's either to bug me or give me a reason to bug him. He knows I like the cool winter mint. "Gerald's getting suspicious again."

My pounding heart stops briefly, but he keeps kissing me and takes away the worry he just slapped me with. "I thought I told you to get rid of any of the clothes I leave in your room."

"I can't." He tells me. Ugh, I hate it and absolutely love it when he gets all mushy on me like this, especially when we are making out.

"Then learn to hide it better."

I hear him sigh when our lips are locked in a long kiss that I try to continue, but he is talking again before I can. "Helga, why can't we just tell them? Just Gerald and Phoebe." He says to me, pulling back but still holding me up against the wall.

"Have you lost your mind?!" I scold him, still keeping my voice low so no one will hear us. "We tell them, they tell someone else, and then we are outed to the whole school and before you know it, we are a laughing stock."

"But they're our best friends, Helga. If we tell them to keep it a secret, then they will."

He's been pushing me to tell them about us for a while now. A part of me knows that if we sit down with them and tell them about us, and tell them that they are not to tell anyone, then they will respect our wishes and keep their mouths shut. But... how do I put this lightly? Gerald's not my biggest fan. He's always held a grudge against me. And I know that he always gets the same speech about how if he just gives me a chance, blah blah blah, but if he gets wind of us, he would end us. "There is no way in hell I'm taking that chance, Arnold."

"But Helga, aren't you tired of sneaking around? Constantly having to lie to everyone, make up stories about where we go on our dates, and... making out in supply closets like a couple of horny teenagers?"

I bite back the laugh I feel threatening to burst out and bite my lip. "Are you serious? Newsflash, Football Head, we _are _a couple of horny teenagers."

He lets out a sigh and looks at me, silently asking me to be serious. He should know by now that I can't take him seriously when we are making out at school. "I'm just tired of hiding, Helga."

His pleading tone gets to me, and I feel my heart sink. I feel my gushy side rise up, and that's always a bad thing whenever I'm with him. But then again, the only time my gushy side comes out is when I'm with him. I meet his soft eyes, that even in the darkness of our closet seem to sparkle with his gentle and loving nature. "Listen Babe," I say, running my fingers through his soft hair, enjoying how soft it feels, and knowing how it makes him feel, "if we were to go public, they would tear us apart. The rumors would start, and then people start acting differently around us, and then the stupid cheerleaders start telling people how you're only going out with me out of pity, and..." My mind whirls from the endless possibilities that the savages of this school could use to tear us apart. My eyes fall to the narrow space between us, his hands still holding me up against the wall he shoved me against. He knows I'm a natural born pessimist, why does he always have to make me show it?

I feel his soft lips touch mine, kissing my worries and fears away like he always does. Sure, I love it when he's aggressive and primal when he kisses me, but it's times when he's slowly working his lips against mine, reassuring me that he's actually there and not going anywhere when I love him the most. He lips make one more run against mine, and he pulls back, looking into my eyes again. "I have a few hours before my sectional this afternoon. Why don't we go see a movie?"

I raise my brow, intrigued by his offer. "One of those cheap, foreign black and white movies, where it's two hours of some douche bag pointing a camera at a plastic bag floating around in an empty parking lot?"

"Mhm," He hums, smirking up at me, "but we're not sneaking in." He tells me seriously.

"Oh come _on, _Arnold! That's the only thing I was looking forward too!" I quietly whine, my legs still around his waist and my arms lazily draped over his shoulders. He cocks his head off to one side, giving me one of his looks and I roll my eyes. "Alright. I _guess_ having you there won't be half bad." I say with a smile. Oh great, my gushy side is coming out again. And from the look he's giving me, he won't let me leave till I say it.

"Say it." Damn it.

"Do you want me to walk out of hear looking like a doped up idiot?" If he makes me say it, then he'll say it back and I won't be able to wipe the smile off my face all freaking day.

"You know you want to."

"You're killing me right now, I hope you know that."

"Just say it, I have a test next period and it will make me feel better."

I sigh, my heart melting inside of my chest at his pleading with me. He's going to pay for this later. Despite my annoyance, I can't help but smile at him softly and run my fingers through his hair again, "I love you."

I see his teeth gleam, and he leans up to kiss me. He pulls back after I giggle against his lips. "I love you too, Helga."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm honestly surprised at the amount of follows and reviews I got. I was a little worried at my ability to write in first person, but I'm really glad you guys liked it. Thanks for the never ending support! :)**

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"Alright guys..." I say. I'm never loud enough on the first try. "Guys." I say again after a moment. The chatter and jokes are still going on, and I'm starting to get irritated, mostly at Matt for just standing there. He may not be section leader, but he's still a senior and should act like it. "Guys!" I shout. Finally, everybody is quiet. "Alright, good job today, mostly. Just make sure that you keep your horn angles in mind. We're doing a great job, but our first competition is this Saturday, so we need to step it up, okay?" I wait for everyone to make some notion of understanding and agreement, and the underclassmen nod seriously, while James and Matt avoid looking at me. They're upperclassmen, they understand all this I guess. "Alright, bring it in."

I lean forward in the circle and put my hand in the center, and the others pile theirs on top of it. "On three. One, two, three-"

"_Kats!" _Everybody shouts.

We all turn to head back to the band room and I start pulling out my mouth piece. I really like being section leader. It gives me confidence, especially when I was chosen over a senior, and two other juniors. We have about seven freshmen in our section, and one sophomore, making our section the largest section in the band. But it also makes it the hardest to handle. And really, Matt should be helping me, but he was pretty mad when he wasn't chosen as section leader, but he should be over it by now.

I'm still making my way across the empty parking lot we use for rehearsal, on my way back to the band room to put away my trumpet when I hear someone call for me from behind. "Arnold?"

I stop and turn around with a smile. Emily is the only sophomore in our section, so it was a little hard for her last year, being the only freshman. Will and James were sophomores, so they weren't very helpful, but I decided to help her out with anything she was having trouble with. Emily walks up to me and stops a few feet away, looking down at her feet, holding her trumpet behind her back. "What's up, Emily?"

"Um..." She starts, still not looking up at me. I wonder why she's so nervous, we're friends. "I was wondering if... if you um..." She was never this nervous asking for my help before, I wonder what's changed. "If you wanted to hang out sometime?" She asks, and I feel my stomach drop. She's looking at me now, and I really wish she wasn't.

This isn't the first time this has happened since Helga and I have started dating. And all the other times, it wasn't that I would have to let them down and tell them no that worried me. It was that when I say no, I'm always afraid that they'll start rumors, about how I already have a girlfriend, or that I'm gay. It was actually Gerald who started that one. He said it as a joke, but I guess someone heard him and took him seriously. Oddly enough, it was that rumor that was the hardest to get to stop. The rumor that I have a secret girlfriend that goes to another school never seems to take off.

But this time, I'm worried about having to let Emily down. She's been a good friend to me, and I really don't want to disappoint her, but I love Helga too much to even consider going out with anybody else. "I'm uh..." I start, but break my sentence, still trying to figure out a way for it to end well, and still trying to come up with a reasonable excuse. "I'm sorry, Emily, but I uh... I can't." Emily's soft smile falls, and I already feel bad. How come Helga doesn't have a problem when guys ask her out? "It's just that it would look bad if I were to start a relationship with someone in my section. But you really are a good friend. I hope you understand."

She smiles back at me and nods, "Yeah, I understand. Don't worry about it." She says, waving her hand in front of me.

I never know what to say after they tell me they understand. I shuffle my feet, looking down at the ground. I don't want to just walk away. "So... friends?"

"Yeah, friends." She smiles. I smile back at her and turn to head back into the band room. After I put my trumpet back into my case and put it back on the shelf, I go back outside and dig out my car keys. The Packard has been acting up again lately. I don't know much about cars, but I really hope its nothing serious. I was just going to ask my dad when I get home.

Yeah, my parents are back in Hillwood. I really love having them here. I really loved getting to know them, and getting to see what they are like. They came back with some help from a friend during seventh grade. I never did meet him, but I guess I was just too caught up in having my parents back. They really are amazing parents.

We were kind of famous whenever they first got back. Some news crew from a national network came over and interviewed us. After that aired, everybody was pestering me, including Gerald, wanting me to get them on TV. I was just interviewed, I'm not a producer. The only person who didn't bug me about it was Helga. She just told me she was glad that I had my parents back. She was the only one I didn't mind telling how I felt about the whole situation. She was real easy to talk to. She always is. Well... when she wants to be, anyway.

I like to think that I've calmed her down over the years, especially since we've been together. But there's still some of that old school yard bully in her. But I love her for it. She's just so funny, and fun to be around, and warm, and exciting. We just connect so well with each other. We started bantering during our eight grade year, and I just fell for her, and I fell pretty hard. I'm pretty sure I'm still falling for her. There's not a single part of her that I don't love. I love everything there is to love about her. I love how she smells, how she acts when she's putting on the act so no one will know we're together, I love how she acts when we're just sitting quietly in my room watching movies on my computer.

We got together during a trip to the beach that a bunch of our friends organized over the summer between our freshmen and sophomore year. I can still remember that it was the first time I saw her let her hair down. She wouldn't let me take a picture of her, but I can still remember exactly how beautiful she looked that night. I couldn't sleep, and decided to go for a walk along the beach. I looked up and saw her standing at the waters edge, letting the tide hit her bare feet. She had on a pink bikini top, and had on a very thin, see through floral skirt tied around her waist that was blowing in the breeze. Her skin was so smooth, and she looked so beautiful that I couldn't hold the thought in.

That was the first time that I kissed her. We hadn't kissed each other since the forth grade, and even then, she was the one who kissed me. We've been together ever since, and I couldn't be more happier with anyone else than I am with her.

Well, I guess I could. But only because I don't want to hide our relationship anymore. I'm so sick of having to lie to people. Especially my parents. Gerald, I don't mind lying to, because I know what he would say if I told him that Helga and I are in love, and have been going out for a year and a half. He would either laugh in my face or feel betrayed because I didn't tell him to begin with. I'd like to think that he would understand why I had to lie to him, but I know he wouldn't.

But I really hate lying to my parents. Especially after Helga's and I's first time together over the summer on our one year anniversary. My parents don't know that I have a girlfriend, much less know that it's Helga. As far as they know, Helga and I are just friends who occasionally 'study' together. Although, I think I might have blown our cover when Grandpa told me I should ask her out at dinner one night a few weeks ago. I didn't exactly know how to respond to it, and I think Mom might have picked up on something. I thought I was a better liar than that.

I hate myself for thinking that though. It's the one thing that I'm not proud of when it comes to my relationship with Helga. Having to lie to people to keep our secret, I guess I've gotten better at coming up with excuses on the spot. I don't want to be good at lying, I'm afraid that I'll get so used to it that one day I'll lie to her, and not feel bad about it. I know, I sound like a total jerk, don't I?

But when I step back and look at what we have been through together, all the wonderful memories we've created together, all the fun we have together and how much I love her, I can't help but feel it's worth it.

Really, I wouldn't mind hiding our relationship if not for one thing, the other guys in school don't know that Helga's taken, so there's nothing to stop them from constantly hitting on her. Sure, other guys hitting on her is the thing that can bring out her old self the quickest, but I really hate being jealous. I know that I have nothing to be jealous about. She may seem to come off as nothing but a sarcastic pessimist with absolutely no tolerance for anyone, but there are times when we are alone that she brings out that other side of her. And she's told me time and time again that no one could ever take her away from me. I still remember her exact words that she said in my ear when we were laying in each others arms after our second time together, the time when it was much less awkward.

_"If they want me, they're going to have to pry me out of your cold, dead hands kicking and screaming." _

I feel a smile burst onto my face as I pull to a stop outside the boarding house. I know, it's not exactly the most romantic thing to say, but it's just so Helga. I step out of the Packard and close the door, twirling the key ring around my finger and jump up my stoop. I push open the front door while the usual stampede of animals runs past me. "Hey Honey, how was practice?" Mom asks me when I step into the kitchen.

"Alright," I say, opening the fridge to take out a soda, "Mrs. Hood is breathing down our necks for the competition this Saturday. She's adding another three hour practice every Thursday."

"I'm sure you'll do great." She says with a smile, walking past me and kissing me cheek briefly. "Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot. Helga stopped by just a little bit ago. She's upstairs waiting in your room."

I feel my chest pound at the news, my shoulders tensing. I stand rigidly leaning against the counter, and look over to Mom who was just making her way in front of the stove where she was making dinner. I'm still trying to figure out whether she knows about it or not. If she does, I honestly don't know how I would handle it. We've gotten so good at hiding it. "Really? Did she say why?"

"She said she had something to give you. I think it was something from Chemistry class." She tells me.

Chemistry is our code word. Last years was Biology. I think it's a bit ironic since Chemistry is the one class we have together. "Okay, thanks Mom." I turn and quickly walk out of the kitchen.

"Oh, Honey," She stops me just as I was out in the hall way. I stop and lean back into the kitchen. "Why don't you ask her to stay for dinner?"

"I'll ask, not promising anything though." I say and quickly jump up the stairs. I'm going to tell her that she was asked to dinner, but I'm not going to ask. I still have a nagging feeling that Mom knows about us, and is just inviting Helga to dinner so she doesn't lose track of the scent. The stairs up to my room at already pulled down and I open the door, my eyes quickly going to the couch, the couch that my girlfriend just sprang up from.

I close my door and step up to her and pull her in by the waist. "Hey Babe." I say, leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers, lingering a bit longer than I had initially intended to. I love kissing her.

She wraps her arms around my neck and leans back, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder. She knows what that does to me. There's only one other thing that makes me want her more, and I don't even want to think about it. I don't know if I could contain myself. "You're late."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. The sectional ran a bit later than I had intended it to. We were called out on Friday before the game during our run through, and Mrs. Hood is already pushing me to keep my section in line. And then..." I say on a sigh. I have to tell her, she always tells me when she gets asked out. "Emily asked me out."

"Who?" She asked, her tone light. She got mad the first few times I was asked out, but she since has found it funny to hear how it goes.

"You remember, she is the only sophomore in the section. I helped her out last year." I explain. I don't really expect her to remember, I never really talk about Emily to her, let alone any other girl... or guy for that matter.

She smiles her beautiful smile and I see her eyes go down to my lips. "I bet she just wants the section leader as arm candy."

"Well, she's out of luck. I'm your arm candy, and no one else's." Her bright smile turns into a grin, and I lean in and capture it. I feel my mind start to go blank and she runs her fingers up the back of my head and into my hair. Man, I love it when she runs her fingers through my hair. We kiss a bit longer and break apart, but still have our arms around each other. "So what are you doing here? You only use the code word if you need something."

"I did." She said simply. I wait for her explanation, but she never gives me one.

"And that is..." I prompt her.

"I needed to kiss you."

I smile and let out a small laugh. If she would let me, I would use the word 'lovers' to define our relationship, because calling her my girlfriend just seems so plain. She's so much more than that. Even though I can't call her anything to anyone else, to her, I call her the woman I love.

"Oh and Phoebe's going out with Gerald this weekend." She leans forward just after that and presses her lips to mine, silence whatever I was about to say. After a quick kiss I push her forward.

"She's what?" I ask, our bantering coming to a screeching halt.

She lets out a long sigh and her head falls forward. "Gerald asked her out after school today, and she said yes. She's going with him to a movie on Saturday."

Why wouldn't he tell me about this? I'm his best friend. Oh wait... I don't have any room to talk, really. "So... how do you feel about it?"

She nods her head off to the side and raised her brow, "What do you mean?"

"Well, Phoebe is your best friend, and I know how you feel about Gerald." I've always had the thought that it's because of Gerald that Helga feels the need to hide our relationship, and I can't help but agree with her whenever Helga seems to come up whenever Gerald and I are hanging out.

"If she wants to go out with that-"

"Helga..." I stop her. She can come up with the strangest things to call people, and she always saves her most insulting and most creative for Gerald. But despite everything, he is still my best friend.

She lets out another sigh, "If she wants to go out with him and see what he's really like, then I can't tell her not to."

"So, does that mean that we can tell her about us?" I hopefully ask, getting the same response I always get, the beginnings of a scowl.

"Why do you want to tell everybody about us all of the sudden?" She asked, pulling her arms out from around my shoulders. I miss her contact already, but I know I won't get it back until this fight is over.

"Helga, I'm just so tired of having to hide." I tell her, letting my hands fall from her hips. "I don't want to pretend anymore. I want to tell people how much I love you, and what it is I love about you. I want to tell everybody about you, Helga."

"You'll know how that would end, Arnold." She tells me seriously. "I don't want to go through all the rumors that would start. First it would be that I'm a pity date, then it's that I'm blackmailing you into going out with me, then it's that I'm pregnant after I got you so drunk and had my way with you. I don't want everybody knowing about us, and you need to understand that."

I sigh and look down at the carpet. I do understand, in a way. There's a part of her that's very sensitive, a scared part of her that I've tried to help her cope with. But I think it will always be there. "You're right." I tell her softly and take a step forward, pulling her back against me by the waist. "I'm sorry." I put my arms around her and hug her while she lets her head fall to my shoulder. I start turning her from side to side, soothing her worries away. I know that she's worried I might leave her because of all this, but the only thing I can do is tell her that I'm not going anywhere, and never will. I love her way too much to leave her.

She lifts her head off my shoulder and looks into my eyes. Man, her eyes are so gorgeous. "I lo-"

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairway startles us both, and I feel my heart start to pound.

* * *

**A/N: Just so you guys know, I was the section leader of the trumpet section back in high school, and was chosen over two other seniors. Just a little part of myself I imparted to the story. :) **

**And a big hi-five for anyone who can tell me what KATS stands for. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This story has gotten some awesome attention! And I'm really proud of myself because this is my first crack at first person. **

**In regards to KATS, there were a lot of good guesses. and some of you got the first two words right. **

**Kick  
Ass  
Trumpet  
Section!**

* * *

Alright, no big deal. This has happened before, we've been interrupted before. I mean, come on, his dad walked in on us while he had his hand up my shirt before and it all worked out. But it's not me I'm worried about. Arnold is always a nervous wreck when we get interrupted, and he's already sweating bullets.

The footsteps continue to get louder, and I have a feeling that it's his mom, judging that it sounds like heels climbing the stairs. I cast a glance over to my nervous boyfriend and see he has taken a generous step away from me. Like that will make her any less suspicious. I let out a sigh and stuff my hands in my pockets, not wanting to cross my arms out of the fear that I would come off as intolerant. After all, I really like his parents, more so than I do my own at least. Then again, it's not much of a competition. At least his parents can remember my name.

The door opens and Stella leans in with her usual soft smile. It always takes me aback how much her and Arnold look alike. "Hey kids, dinner's ready. You're welcome to stay, Helga, if Arnold forgot to ask."

I smile and shrug my shoulders, "Sure, Mariam probably didn't make anything anyway."

Stella's smile brightens, and I feel my own smile brighten back. There's just something about his mom's smile that is infectious. "Wonderful! I'll tell your father to set an extra place then."

She turned around and we both hear her head back down the stairs, leaving his door open a crack. I look over to him and he still has his innocent smile he put on for his mother, looking toward the door. Geez, can he look any more guilty? He waits till his mother's footsteps can't be heard to walk up and close the door as quietly as possible. He surprises me a bit when he turns around and sends me a glare. "Is there a reason you just agreed to stay for dinner?"

What the hell is he getting so angry for? "I'm hungry, Football Head, and I don't want to make my own dinner when I get home." There are more reasons I want to stay, like being with him, spending more time with him than I already do, which is a lot. And getting the sense of family, the feeling of togetherness I get whenever I'm interacting with his family that I never get when I'm at home.

"Helga, my mom is already suspicious about us. If you want to keep our secret a secret, then you having dinner with us isn't a very good idea." He says, taking a step toward me. He does look honestly worried, but it wasn't my idea that he keep our relationship from his parents. It was my idea that we keep our relationship from _my _parents. Bob still refers to the man I'm in love with as 'that little orphan boy', and it pisses me off more and more every time he says it.

I raise my brow and shift my weight, crossing my arms. And he knows by these combined actions that he's in for it. "You know, now I just want to stay for dinner to torture you."

"Helga-"

"Oh no." I say, uncrossing my arms and smirking devilishly at him. I'm suddenly feeling very playful, and with the kind of mood he's in now, he is in no mood to be played with, which makes it so much more tempting. I start to saunter up to him, putting a bit of swing in my hips on purpose. I may not think so, but he thinks I'm the sexiest thing put on this earth. "Can't you just picture it?" I say in a lowered voice, continuing to saunter up to him. He starts to step back, but I keep stalking toward him. "The sexual tension between us. The untempered desire you would have to reach over and squeeze my thigh." His back just hit the door, and I'm only a couple inches from him. It's only when his eyes go down to my chest that I know I have him. "The urge you'll have to... excuse yourself to run upstairs just because if you stay next to me any longer, you'll... have your way with me." I lift my fingers and begin to seductively walk them up his chest.

"Babe, if you keep talking like that, we'll never make it to dinner." He says to me. His husky and struggled tone turns me on so much more. I can even feel his hands shake as he fights to reach out and pull me in.

Now, the real fun begins. I take one more step into him, not even an inch from our fronts being flush, and push up on the balls of my feet and bring my lips just a hair away from his. "Then let's go." I say, my tone returning to normal. I swallow my laugh that rose and pull the door open, jumping down the steps in glee. It's always a hell of a lot of fun to play with him like that, especially when we end up tearing each others clothes off.

I'm not saying I have total power over him. There are times when the roles are reversed, and he knows that he can get me to do just about anything. And lord knows I've offered. That's the one thing that I'm afraid of Arnold's parents knowing. I don't want Bob and Mariam to know that I've been dating Arnold because either they won't care enough to do anything, or they'll think he's not good enough for me and threaten to send me to private school. But with Stella and Miles, I don't mind if they were to know that I'm dating Arnold, I just don't want them to know that we sleep together, and have been for about four and a half months now.

If it were up to me, I would mention that we are dating at dinner tonight, but I couldn't do that to Arnold. I may like to play with him and torture him every chance I can get, but I would never betray his trust. If he doesn't want his parents to know, then I'm not going to tell them. He cares enough for me to keep our secret from everybody else, despite his sudden wish for me to blab our business to everybody, so the least I could do is do the same thing with his parents.

But if there are two people I want to know how much I love him, it would be them. Although, I know I could never really do that. If I were to really tell them how much I love Arnold, and how much I cherish him, and how much I care for him, and how much I love him because he cares for me in return, I would be talking till the day I die. But most of all, I would want them to know that being with him as made me a better person. And the only way I can explain it is that I guess I want to feel like I'm worthy to be with him, so I try to better myself so I think that I am worthy of his never ending affections. Even though if I were to tell him that, he would say that he loves every single part of me, even the bitchy parts.

I step into the dining room with a soft, probably telling smile on my face, and the first set of eyes that I catch are Stella's, and she's smiling back at me warmly.

* * *

I follow Helga out into the hallway, and feel a heavy weight lift off my shoulders. I thought dinner would be more stressful than it was. But Helga was her normal, pleasant self. And I don't mean her normal, bully self. She was actually very nice, and she was right about one thing. It was hard not to lean over and kiss her when I heard her laugh. I love it when she laughs. I pull the door open for her and follow her outside, closing the door behind me. "Well, that was better than expected." I say in a low voice, just in case someone is listening on the other side of the door, or through the window.

I hear her let out a small giggle and turn around and place her hands on my chest. I put my hands low on her hips and start to tug her in while she's smiling up at me. I may be only an inch taller than her, but I like the fact that I'm taller than her, especially after all that torment in middle school when she found out my last name. Man, she had fun with that one. "I love seeing you so nervous."

"I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"Arnold, you're a lot easier to read than you think."

I lean back a little bit, feeling a bit insulted, especially when I'm supposed to be keeping our relationship a secret. I've been lying to everyone about us for a year and a half and she decides to tell me I'm easy to read _now? _"I am not." I say. I didn't mean it to come out that childish.

She smiles again and shrugs her shoulders, her hands still planted on my chest. "Maybe it's just my intuition then."

"You are the smartest person I've ever met."

Instead of fighting me on it, which she usually does when I give her such a compliment, she just shakes her head a bit and leans up to kiss me goodnight. I softly touch my lips to hers, fully intending to pull away after a second. But her hand just went to my jaw, and she just moved her head a little more to the side to deepen our kiss. God, I love kissing her.

I feel my back hit the door and we continue to lazily make out. I don't want her to leave for the night. I have half a mind to tell her to sneak back into my room through the fire escape, the other half of my mind is being otherwise occupied by her lips.

Eventually, we lose track of time. I don't know how long we've been standing on my stoop making out in broad daylight. Well, not really daylight. It's pretty dark, and only a small part of me is worried about her walking home in the dark, and I'm on the verge of offering to drive her home. I open my eyes and see her smiling softly at me, her eyes sparkling up at me, just like they always do. I smile back at her and weave my arms around her more to pull her into a hug. Her head lays against my chest, and her arms are around my waist. I don't want to let her go... ever. "I love you, Helga."

I hear her let out a small breath, probably a laugh, "I love you too, Football Head."

"You need a ride home?" I ask her when I cox her away from me, but I still have my arms around her.

"Nah, I'll be fine." I give her an obvious look. "You do know who I am, right?" She asks me, shoving her finger into her chest.

"Remind me again, I know we just made out for... however long we just made out for, but I don't think I ever caught your name." I say jokingly. Her brow goes into a straight line and I continue, "Text me when you get home?"

She sighs and her shoulders deflate, "Alright. Worry wart."

I lean down and kiss her again and say good night, watching as she bounces down the stoop and turns to walk home. I sigh and open the door and head back inside. I decide to walk into the kitchen to see if Mom needs any help with the dishes, just because I feel bad lying to her, and she had asked me help her out, but I told her I had to see Helga out. So I guess the least I could do is help do the last of the cleaning. I walk in and see Mom in front of the sink, humming to herself. She turns her head and smiles. "Hey Honey, I thought you were driving Helga home."

"I offered, but she said she can make it on her own. You know how she is." I say, grabbing the empty pot that is still sitting on the stove waiting to be washed.

She takes it from my hand, "Independent. She'd rather fail at doing something on her own than have to ask for help and succeed."

I laugh lightly. That's Helga. "Yeah."

There is a few minutes of silence when I move to her other side to dry. But all of the sudden, I hear a plate drop into the sink with a muffle clatter. I jump and see Mom turning to face me with one hand on her hip, the other on the counter. "I can't take this anymore." She says with a laugh.

I shake my head, trying to make sense of whatever it is she's talking about. "Huh?"

"Sweetie, spare me. Okay?"

"What are you talking about, Mom?"

Her brow lifts in astonishment and her mouth falls open a bit. I think it should be obvious what she's talking about, but I'm not getting it. "I swear, you are just as oblivious as your father." She says to me, looking away and shaking her head. "Arnold, I'm not blind okay. And you're starting to insult me." Her tone is light, but it sounds like she's giving me a lecture.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" I ask again. She still hasn't told me, and I'm feeling a mix of irritation and fear.

"Honey, I'm your mother. Did you really think you could hide your relationship with Helga for so long?"

I feel my stomach drop, and my heart stop cold in my chest. A million questions are swirling around in my head, but the thing that is the most confusing is that she's _smiling_. "Mom, I... we... I mean..." I can't form a full sentence. How long as she known? Has she known all along? Does she know that we sleep together? What is she going to do about it?

She raises her hand up to me and closes her eyes, "Calm down, sweetie. I just couldn't keep it in any more."

I let out a breath, that was hard to push out and turn around and brace myself against the counter. "How long have you known?" I look over to her and she's still smiling at me.

She shrugs lightly and looks back down into the sink. "A while now. I thought that I'd let you kids keep your secret, but after seeing how you looked at each other at dinner tonight, I just couldn't take you pretending anymore. You know, I don't know whether to be proud or disappointed that my son is a bad liar."

"Mom, you..." I start, but look around and see that we are alone. "You can't tell anyone."

She looks at me, and narrows her eyes to me, and I think I know what she's wondering. "Arnold, how long have you and Helga been dating?" She asks me, and her funny tone is gone. She's serious now.

I sigh, and I know that I can't lie now. I let out a heavy breath and look down to the floor. "A year and a half."

She gasps, and I feel really crappy. "A year and a half?! Arnold!"

"I'm sorry, Mom. It just... sort of happened. We were on that beach trip after freshman year, and I went for a walk on the beach one night, and I saw her standing there in the moonlight, and she was just so breathtaking, and I... I kissed her. The next morning, I kissed her again. And pretty soon, we were kissing each other in secret, then it turned into dating, but we never really lost the secret part. As far as I know... you're the only one besides Helga and I that knows about us."

I know that I'm on the verge of opening up to her, and spilling my guts to her completely. I've been holding so much in, wanting to tell the world about how much I love Helga, and how incredible a person she is, and now I have someone to tell it all to. "Arnold... sweetie... I had no idea." I feel her hand on my shoulder and after a moment, she starts to rub my upper arm. I feel a sense of warmth from her touch. Not the same warmth that I get from Helga though.

"We've been hiding it for so long that... it feels kind of nice to tell someone about it." It really does. It feels like she's taking the weight off my shoulders.

"So... a year and a half?" She asks me. I look over to her, and somehow, I just know what she's thinking. It was this part that I was dreading the most. And I think she knows what my answer to her question is when I meet her eyes. "Oh Honey, please tell me you used protection." She tells me, leaning in and whispering to me.

"Yes, Mom, we did. But, before we go any further, I just want you to know... it wasn't some drunken decision we made in the heat of the moment. We decided to be together because Helga and I are in love with each other. I mean, I've known her my whole life, but it feels like every time I see her in the morning, it's like I'm looking at the sunrise. You tell yourself that it's going to be beautiful, but it still takes your breath away when it comes." Man, I guess Helga's poetry has finally rubbed off on me. After a moment, I look over to Mom and see that she's smiling at me again.

"You really do love her, don't you?"

I feel myself smile with out telling myself to, "Probably more than I'll ever really know."


	4. Chapter 4

I know everyone complains about Mondays, but it's Tuesdays that I hate the most.

It's not the beginning of the week, but still, you get to the realization about a quarter way through the day that you still have four more days to drag your ass through. And it's not even school that I hate having to deal with, the school part isn't all that bad. It's the people I hate dealing with. I just want them all to go the hell away so I can be with the one person I want to be with forever.

Without them, we could be open, I could run up to him in the morning and jump up and wrap my legs around his waist just because I know he has the upper body strength of a feral cat and would fall to the ground. A part of me is telling me to just say screw them, because Arnold is the most important thing in the world to me and I don't really care who knows it, but them I shake my head of the thought and know that they could never understand.

I mean, he's one of the most popular guys in school, and I'm... well... I'm me. I'm the schools tomboy who most people think is a lesbian because of how I dress. Sure, I take the side of comfort over fashion any day and choose to wear clothes that are a bit baggy. I think I only have one skirt in my whole closet, which, as I recall, looks like a nuclear disaster. Ever since I started using my closet as an actual place to store my clothes instead of a means of worship, I can't help it. Even though I don't feel the need to build shrines to him anymore... all that much, it just doesn't seem right.

And yes, he knows about all of it. His reaction honestly surprised me, and I remember clearly how I was still trying to take myself away from the guard I put up when I told him about all of it, bracing myself for him telling me I should be in a patted cell with a cup of colorful pills. But he never did. I should have known really, I mean, he's Arnold. Whenever I showed him the last shrine I had built to him, he just looked at it and smiled and said that I had a talent for capturing his image.

That shrine was a few years old, and I only built it because I threw all of my old ones out one day in middle school. And it will be a day that will forever live in infamy. It was the day where Lila Sawyer actually said yes to Arnold's begging.

I know we've been together for a year and a half, and there's absolutely no end in sight, but still, the memory eats away at me. I don't remember ever feeling so broken than I did that day. I don't ever remember crying harder or longer than I did that day. Of course, Pheebs helped me out. And it was that day that we stopped using our stupid code word. I told her everything, and she tried to help me, but she never could understand. She's still my best friend though, because she's the only one that has ever tried to... besides Arnold, who understands me sometimes better than I do myself.

It's kinda cold out, but I'm still in my usual clothes. A pair of comfortable blue jeans I found at a thrift store and a plain colored t-shirt with my jacket over it. I've also decided to take a risk and wear his hat to school, or at least on my walk there. It's my little way of telling the world that Arnold is mine without them hearing me. He gave me his hat one day when we were sitting together in class our freshman year. I made a comment that I felt like I still had bed hair, and while I looked down to my desk, I felt him place his small hat on my head.

I still remember how I looked over and fell in love with him all over again. _"Keep it, it looks better on you anyway." _He said. I wish I could say the same to him when I gave him my bow, but after we had been dating a few months, we were sitting in his room and he pulled it out of a drawer that he had labeled himself as his 'Helga' drawer, and tied it into his hair, which was already starting to waft all to one side in the same smooth spikes. I took it out and tied it around his wrist. Again, my little way of telling the world that he's mine without anyone hearing me.

I'm coming up to school, so just like I always do, I dig out my phone and turn up my music, which luckily just decided to change to Anti-Nowhere League. I chuckle evilly at the thought of those idiot cheerleaders listening to some beauty queen whine about how she was never loved, and have them hearing music that sounds as angry as mine does. I don't think they even know music like mine exists.

I push my way through them, hoping that they heard the music blaring through my ear buds and wait until I'm in the hallway to shut it off. I decide to head straight to class from there. I'm probably the only person in this school who doesn't use their locker. Even Arnold uses his locker, his combo is 3-34-12.

I shake my head at all the minute details I seem to retain about my beloved boyfriend.

First period goes by smoothy, surprisingly enough, so I head out to second period. I catch Phoebe on her way in and smile. "Hey Pheebs." She looks over with her Algebra two book hugged against her sweater and smiles.

"Hi Helga." She says and lets me pass in front of her. I casually stroll over to my desk, but somethings off. I can feel someones eyes on me. It was then that I feel every muscle I have tense up at the realization that I still have Arnold's hat adorning my head. I force my eyes closed and take a deep breath, telling myself over and over again to play it cool. Phoebe is on her way to valedictorian, so if she catches even the slightest whiff of something being off with me, she'll chase it down like a bloodhound. I steel myself and let my backpack fall do the ground with a clattering thump and plop down into my desk indifferently.

I turn to face the front and put my first against my cheek, staring as blankly as I can toward the front, still feeling her eyes bore into me. "Um... Helga?"

I look over to her and raise my brow questioningly. Sure, I may seem calm and collected, but inside my head I feel my whole world unraveling at the seams.

She takes a pause and I see her eyes still on the little blue hat sitting on my head, and I would probably faint if she were to make the connection. "It's nothing... never mind." She says and turns to face the front again. I turn to mirror her and keep my indifferent expression facing the dry erase board. There's a small voice inside my head poking the back of my brain, and it's saying that I will have a bit of explaining to do when there aren't so many people around to hear the answers to Phoebe's questions. Something tells me I'll be getting a call tonight.

Second period ends, and Phoebe waves when she turns down the hall way. The next class is both my absolute favorite, and my absolute worst nightmare all wrapped up in one long, blissfully exciting hour. Chemistry.

I've always found it a bit ironic that Arnold and I have Chemistry together... and chemistry together. I always laugh at that joke. Sometimes, he's just so corny that it kills me. I walk down the semi-empty hallway and turn into the room. He's coming from across the school, so he's usually a bit later than I am to arrive. Dr. Morrison is a nice enough guy, for a teacher anyway. A bit shorter than I am, but then again, I'm five nine which I've always found kind of tall. Still the shortest one in my family though. He's from the south, and it shows in his accent.

I look over to the board and he has 'New seats' written in bold letters. I sigh and set my stuff down in the table that I was assigned a month and a half ago. This is one of the few classrooms that have tables, with two chairs to a table each instead of desks. I stare blankly toward the front until I see him saunter in. He catches my eye and pulls that soft smirk he's always wearing a bit farther back, his eyes softening toward me. Oh my god, he's so cute. He sits in his seat in the front left and a few minutes after me looking at the back of his adorably shaped head, Dr. Morrison walks to the front of the class.

"Alright, Y'all have new seats today. Everyone to the back." He says, waving us back toward the back of the class. We all gather our things and I move over to the side and hop up on the counter on the opposite side of him, but briefly chance a look in his direction, seeing his teal blue shirt loosely hug his body, while his plaid flannel shirt hung open with his sleeves rolled up. Ugh, he's killing me. "Okay, now, when I call your name, Helga, off the counter, come take your new seat."

Over a few chuckles, I roll my eyes and jump down. "Party Pooper." I say loud enough for everyone to hear me. He starts going through the list, naming pairs of people as he points to each table, and I'm starting to get a bit paranoid that he hasn't called my name yet. He steps up to the desk in the far back left of the classroom and looks down at his clipboard again. "And Arnold and Helga." Oh Fuck.

I feel my eyes widen and my heart skip. I swear, I don't know whether to give Morrison a hug or punch him in the face. I look over to Arnold and see him giving me a nervous smile. Dr. Morrison is just starting his lecture and I don't want to get yelled at today. I let out a silent sigh, in hopes to figure out how I feel about the situation, and move to sit in the right hand seat of the table, leaving Arnold to take the left. I pull out a notebook and my pen and write three words in bold, all capital letters, forcefully underlining it enough to where I almost rip the paper in half. It's small enough that it's only on one line, but I know he will see it.

I wait until I see him sit down out of the corner of my eye to nudge my notebook in his direction. I see him look at the what I had written. _'NOT A WORD!' _

He just smiles at me and pulls out his binder and opens to a new page, and starts writing. After a minute of watching his skinny fingers write, he moves his hand. _'I like your hat. It makes you look sexy.' _

My eyes widen again on their own accord, and I reach up and rip his hat from my head, stuffing it underneath me, looking around the room to see everyone's eyes still up front. I shot him a glare, hoping he will keep that mouth that I would love to have on mine shut. I've really got to stop thinking like this. Keep it up too much longer with him sitting next to me, and I won't be responsible for what will take place. I see Arnold writing in his binder again, and it's probably just taking notes, which I have decided to do as Dr. Morrison goes over his lecture. But after a minute, I see him nudge his binder in my direction. _'We have something to talk about.' _

I raise one side of my brow and look over to him from the side, so's to not draw attention and get called out in class for talking. God only knows what would happen if someone were to catch on because of this. I begin writing in my notebook and withdraw my hand after I'm done, _'About?' _

He starts writing again, and I see him pause and look toward the front as if he's actually concentrating before he looks down again and lifts his hand away, '_My mom knows.' _

I feel my breath hitch a bit, but not as much as I thought it would if this were ever to happen. I start writing my response out, and pause to look toward the front, mirroring his gesture to make it seem like we're actually taking notes, and pull my hand away when I'm done, '_How much?' _

I wait for him to start writing, but after I look over to his binder, and see that he hasn't written anything after a minute of waiting, I look up to him and see him giving me a look. I know that look. That look tells me that he said something stupid about us and that he's sorry. And if I'm reading it right, he told Stella everything... and I mean everything. Suppressing the urge to break it in half, I pick up my pen and start writing again, _'You are dead!' _

I close my eyes to try and wrangle in my run away anger and reach up and pinch the bridge of my nose. I can still feel him looking at me. I open my eyes and see Dr. Morrison busy writing something on the board and reach down and pick up my pen again, and begin writing. _'Your car during lunch.' _

I lift my hand away and look towards the front, and wait for a minute before I look over and see him smiling sadly at me. He's hurt. And it's that sad smile that I can ever stand to see him smile. I know when he's putting on a front for me, just so I don't yell at him anymore, and it's exactly he's doing now. And his sad smile is enough to make me feel like a worthless piece of crap. What am I doing? Stella is a very smart woman, and it's not like he's the only one at fault for her finding out. That stupid smile I had plastered on my face when I met her eyes last night during dinner was kind of telling. And she may have just picked up the whole story.

But I guess it's not all bad. And if Arnold has been one thing that we've been feeling mutually besides our loves, it's that I want to tell everybody about him. But everybody already knows the side of him that I love. But then again, that's just it. That side of him is him. There's not any other side to him. He's always sweet, and kind, and caring, and loving... and cute, and playful, and hot. I shake my head as my thoughts go to his looks that, as always, make me crazy. I look over again and see he's still wearing that sad smile. Usually, I would softly cup his face and pull him down to me and kiss him softly, then start weaving my fingers through his hair. But I can't do that here.

I know what I can do though. I smile softly as the thought comes to mind and reach down, pulling out his hat that I have been sitting on. I push out the crumpled top and bend the bill a bit and place it back on top of my head. I look over to him again and he's smiling a soft, thankful smile I see him look down towards his binder, and after a minute, he pulls his hand away. _'I don't know if I told you this before, but just in case I haven't, I'm so in love with you.' _

I bite back the emotional chuckle that I feel rising and look over to him again before I start mouthing the words 'me too' over to him. His smile brightens a bit and he looks forward. Class ends too quickly, but at the same time, not quickly enough and I start slowly gathering my things, waiting for everyone else to filter out so I have a chance to actually talk to Arnold before I head to my next class. I starts walking out and I follow behind him, falling into step with him when he turns down the hall way to head outside. Oh yeah, he has band next period.

He pushes the door open and holds it for me. I pass in front of him and wait for him to appear back at my side to start, but he beats me to it. "I'm sorry."

"How much did you tell her?"

"Really, I didn't tell her anything. She just picked it up on her own. She said that she knew that we have been dating for a while, but she was surprised when I told her how long we've been together. Then, she looked at me and just... picked it up. Like a sixth sense."

"So... get it over with." I say, bracing myself for it and but still feeling my heart start to shatter.

"Huh?" I hear him ask me. I look over and he looks honestly confused.

"Well, she obviously told you to break up with me, so..."

I see his hand reach up and grasp my forearm, pulling me to a stop. His look is telling me that he's genuinely hurt that I even mentioned it. "Why would you think that I would ever even think about breaking up with you, Babe?"

Oh man, he just called me by my favorite pet name. I feel my lips curl into a smile, but still look around to see if anyone is watching us. I look back up to him and soften my gaze.

"Helga, she didn't tell me to break up with you when she found out that we slept together." He began in a hushed tone, "She just wanted to make sure we were doing it safely. And I think I won her over when I explained to her just how I feel when I see you for the first time every morning."

I take a very small step toward him and wrap my finger around the lining of his pants pocket. "What'd you say?"

I hear him let out a breath of laughter just before the bell rings over our heads, but when I look up, he's unfazed, still gazing lovingly down a me. "I told her it's like waiting for the sunrise. I always tell myself how amazing and how beautiful you are every morning, but whenever I see you, even after all this time, you still manage to take my breath away."

I even feel tears start to pool at the bottom of my eye lids. Oh fuck it, for now, I don't care who sees us. I reach up and pull him down to me, smashing his soft, firm lips onto mine. He pushes my lips open and I feel his tongue slide against my teeth, while his hands are sliding over my sides. If we weren't at school, we'd probably end up making love. He kisses me one last time and we pull away. We are probably about five minutes late, but he has band, and they almost never care, and I have study hall next period. We still have our arms around each other and we are still gazing lovingly into each others eyes. "I love you so much, Arnold."

He smiles down at me, "There's something else." I raise my brow expectantly. I wonder what cheesy one liner he's going to through at me this time. "My mom wants to talk to you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter turned out a lot longer than I originally planned, but I guess it will make up for how long I've been making you guys wait. **

**And some one you might be wondering about the plot I had summarized in the synopsis, and just to let you know, I'm getting to it. If you guys know my writing, you know that I always have a plan, and don't just go chapter by chapter. ;) **

**And for those of you following Can't See the Forest, I'm still working on that. I'm just splitting my time between these to stories, because this one seems to be garnering a lot more attention that I originally thought it would. So thanks for the never ending support! You guys keep my writing!**

* * *

Eventually, I make it to study hall and sit in my desk, taking out my scrap notebook to scribble in it for an hour. Usually, Mr. Vernon keeps us quiet, but he's out today, and we have a sub. Any other class would be great to have a sub in, but not this one. A substitute in this class means that the preppie girls who sit behind me will be squawking for the next hour, gossiping about other peoples lives because they can't seem to live their own.

I start drawing an intricate drawing of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as Kathy and Charlotte start blabbing about the last date they went on, and I have no choice but to listen. Their words aren't really registering in my brain, they never do, but I still have to listen. Whenever I'm forced to listen to them, I usually silently mock them to myself, adding insults to the end of their sentences. Trying to make the best of a bad situation I guess.

"I swear, if I had my way, he'd be so gone." And if I had mine, you would be to, Bitch.

"Yeah, he's hot, but he's a jerk." I hear Charlotte say. She's practically filing her nails right in my ear, and it's giving me serious chills.

"You know who I want to go after?" How bout you go after a bullet in the head?

"Whose that?"

Kathy moans deeply, and I roll my eyes, wanting to turn around and slam her face in my text book. "Arnold Shortman."

I feel myself freeze at the mention of my beloved's name, but feel my fist clench tightly at the context his beautiful name is being used in. Now I really want to slam her face in my text book. Charlotte moans as Kathy did, as if my boyfriend is some piece of meat for them to salivate over. "Oh yeah." She says way too close to my ear. I am so close to beating this girl to death with her own feet. "I'd love to take him around the world."

I close my eyes and seethe as silently as I can, hoping to temper my fury a bit, but it did nothing but aggravate me even more. "You think I have a shot?" As much a chance as I have to be elected the pope.

"I don't know, I hear he already has a girlfriend." Damn straight he does.

"So? I just want to have fun." As much fun as my fist wants to have with your teeth?

"Still, I don't think he's into that kind of thing."

"Maybe I could... corrupt him." I hear Kathy say with evil in her tone. If my Arnold could be corrupted, he wouldn't be my Arnold. That's just one thing I love about him. His spirit and compassion are so unshakable, no one could ever tear him down.

"Maybe." Charlotte says while she keeps filing her nails. "He would be worth the trouble. I can only imagine what he's like in bed." I feel my heart sting for some reason. It's just my insecurity, and I know it. He knows that a part of me is always afraid that he will leave me because I'm too much trouble, that my problems far out weigh my strengths, that he would be much happier with someone like Charlotte, or even Kathy. Someone who wouldn't be afraid to walk down the hall while she held his hand. I feel my heart sting sharper than last time at the image that just flashed in my mind. I know he's in band right now, but I don't care. I dig out my phone as the conversation continues behind me.

"He's probably a virgin. But what I would give to take his innocence." I push my heart back down to its place and out of my throat as my thumb works across the screen, asking him to meet me in his car during lunch.

"You should ask him out." With that, a tight mixture of anger and fear quickly take me over, and it's all I can do to keep quiet and my shoes out of their ass holes.

"He is in my sixth period. Okay, I'll do it." Suddenly, I forcefully stand up from my desk and walk out the door.

* * *

It was about an hour after school that I find myself walking toward his house. He's in rehearsal this afternoon until six, and he said that Stella wanted to talk to me, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what she wants to talk about. She wants to talk about my ripping their little boys virginity away.

It seems that whenever I start feeling scared and insecure, I fall more and more in love with him than I was before. We met up in his car during lunch and I told him what those stupid preppies were saying about him, and he just pulled me in his arms and kissed my hair. _'They can talk until their blue in the face, but they're never going to take me away from you. I love you too much for that to happen, Babe.' _I wanted to have a quickie, but he argued that we only had ten minutes left for lunch at the time.

But still, the thought of someone else getting to touch him, hold him, kiss him, it kills me. I would rather have a literal knife stuck in my chest than have to live through getting to see someone else receive his affection. And I guess he knows that I'm a bit insecure at times, and I need him to lift me back up. He would have to know that I'm a bit emotionally needy when he signed up to be my boyfriend. And I guess that he knows this, and accepts it, and I'd like to think that he loves me more for it, and loves the fact that I'd never openly admit to being emotionally needy or insecure, even though I sometimes show it pretty blatantly.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I catch the sight of the red bricks that make up his home, and I suddenly feel very nervous. I take a deep breath as I continue toward his stoop and jump up the steps. I take on last breath, forcing the knot out of my gut and tap my knuckle against the large green door. After a few moments, his dad pulls the door open with a smile. "Hey there, Helga."

"Hi, Mr. Shortman." I say with a smile back at him.

"Arnold's actually at band practice tonight." He says, rubbing the back of his head.

"Actually, I-"

"Don't be rude, Honey." I hear Stella's voice come from inside the boarding house, then after a moment, I see her drift in from the other room. "Invite the girl in." She says to him and waves me in. Miles smiles over to her and steps aside. "You know you are always more than welcome here, sweetie." She says with a warm smile. God, he has such awesome parents. Stella steps up to me after I take a few nervous steps inside and places her hand on my shoulder, still smiling over at me. "How are you today, Helga?"

I shrug, trying my hardest to come off as nonchalant. "Eh."

Her eyes narrow when she smiles. She looks over my shoulder and I turn to follow her eyes, "Miles, Honey, can you make us some tea?"

"Sure, Hun." He says and steps up to her and kisses her cheek as he passes her on his way to the kitchen.

Stella's eyes follow him until he turns the corner and is out of sight, and I feel a nervous sweat break out over me, making it suddenly very hot in here. Stella turns back around her smile falls, but it's still there. Subtle, but there nonetheless. And before I can stop myself, I'm spilling my guts. "Listen, Mrs. Shortman, I know that me and Arnold are both young, and we have hormones raging and all that, and that we should have waited until we're more mature, or even until we're married, but-"

"Helga," She stops me with a chuckle laced into her voice. I look back up to her after my eyes fell to the floorboards. "Come with me, I want to show you something." She turns and starts up the stairs and I follow closely behind her. She stays silent as we make our way down the hall and into their bedroom. She leaves the door open, and I hesitate for a second before creeping my way in. I was never comfortable in a parents bedroom. She turns on the lamp on the dresser and nods her head off to the side, gesturing for me to come over to her.

I step up to her side slowly and see her holding a picture in her hands. "I want to try and explain something to you, Helga. Now, you are a very bright young woman, so I'm sure you'll understand... or at least try your best."

I nod my head seriously, "Okay."

She sighs and her eyes fall back down to the frame she has in her hands. I can't see what it's a picture of from the glare of the light though. "It's no secret that Miles and I were gone for a very long time. I mean, we were on sixty minutes." She says with another chuckle. "But what most people don't realize is this." She hands me the picture she was holding, and I see that it's a picture of a baby boy, a sky blue shirt and a diaper, sitting on a blanket surrounded by toys. I can tell right away from the fanned out hair and adorably shaped head that its a baby picture of Arnold.

"He was so cute." I say without thinking.

I hear Stella let out a breath of a chuckle, "Yeah he was. Now, I want you to try and imagine yourself as a mother, and you have a beautiful baby boy. And you blink. Then, he goes from this," She taps her finger against the frame in my hands, "to this." She hands me another frame, and it's a picture of him at our eight grade graduation. I think I know what she's getting at.

I look up to her and she's still smiling softly over to me.

"When Miles and I left, he wasn't even crawling yet. But when we came back, he was this... teenager. Miles and I missed our own son's entire life. We missed his first steps, his first words, potty training him. We missed everything. We didn't get to see him grow up. We had to be told everything that he went through. Miles and I are still finding out things about our own son to this day." She says to me. It sounds like she's pleading with me, but I understand what she's saying. "What I'm saying is that Miles and I, or at least just me, I guess I'm still wanting that little baby boy back. And it's been hard for me to cope with the fact that my little baby boy is a teenager now, and he's reaching milestones that I'm not ready for."

"So..."I nervously begin, "You aren't mad that Arnold and I..."

She smiles at me again after I trail off, "No, sweetie, we're not mad. While we're still his parents, we still know what it's like to be in love. And I may have been gone a while, but I still know the look of someone in love when I see it. And you, my dear, are in love."

I feel a smile split across my face and let my head fall forward. "Stella, I just want you to know..." I look back up to her, and she's still smiling with her brow raised in question, "I know that Arnold has told you how he feels about me, but I think it would mean a lot more coming from me if I told you that... I've been madly in love with your son since the day I saw him. So, what I'm saying is I've loved Arnold pretty much my entire life. I mean, I could talk your ear off trying to tell you just how much I love him. But when we... first had sex," I shiver at my use of the term in front of her, "we talked it through, and made sure that we were both very serious and both very ready before we did anything. Actually... I think he was more scared than I was."

"Helga, that's saying quite a lot. Because I know how scary your first time can be." She says, putting her hand back on my shoulder in a motion of never ending comfort. In a twisted way, I really wish she was my own mother.

"No, he was very sweet, and very caring, and very patient. He never pressured me at all, never even brought it up, now that I think about it."

Stella's smile softens a bit as she looks away from me. "Helga, if I may, Arnold told me that, since I know about you two, I'm the only one that knows you're together other than yourselves." For some reason, I feel a mixture of shame and fear claw at my throat. "Is that true?"

I open my mouth to try and explain myself reasonably well, but I just choke on my words, not knowing how to. I let out a heavy breath, admitting defeat in a way. "Yeah," I say, turning around and leaning back against the dresser, "you're the first to find out about us so far."

"Why are you hiding your relationship, Helga?" She asks me, she sounds surprised that someone like me would feel the need to hide, but I guess it's my turn to help her understand.

"Because I'm... me, and he's Arnold. I'm the schools tomboy, and he's the section leader of the trumpet section in the schools marching band. If people were to find out that the most popular guy in school is dating _me, _it..."

"Helga, who cares what others think?"

I do.

"Why?"

My eyes bulge and another nervous sweat breaks out over my skin. I thought I kept that thought inside. This woman is worse than Bliss. I look over to her, but don't turn my head, and I can see that she is looking at me worriedly. And with the look in her eyes, noticing that Arnold has his mother's eyes, I feel my wall crack. "Because they can never understand. My own parents can't understand my love for him, so how could anybody else? I'm always hearing all these other girls say how they would 'take him around the world', like he's some object for them to use, so what would they do if they found out that I'm dating him, and have been for a year and a half, and have been in love with him since pre-k? They would say what I did to him to force him into a relationship with me, the school's she-beast. They would poke fun of us, and start talking about us behind our backs, saying that I'm pregnant after I drugged him and had my way with him, or say that I'm blackmailing him, and then before I could stop it, the only good thing in my life would be gone."

I tried to fight the emotion that my voice was showing during my schpeel, but I just now realized that my eyes feel flooded. I wish he was here to hold me. He wouldn't have a problem with me burying my face in the soft fabric of his shirt and letting it out. I know he hates to see me cry, and would do anything in his power to make me feel better. And I'm telling myself to just shut up and try and focus on regaining my composure so I don't humiliate myself any further in front of the one other woman besides Bliss that actually has my respect, but everything that I've been holding inside is boiling in my system, and it wants to escape.

"He was like my life jacket during elementary and middle school, keeping afloat with nothing more than just his existence. And now, he's the only reason I have to keep fighting against this judgmental world I live in with uncaring and oblivious parents and little miss perfect as an older sister. He's the only thing that makes my life worth something, and I know it's selfish and unhealthy to keep it all to myself and to keep our love hidden, but I know with out a single doubt in my mind that if people were to find out about us, they would tear us apart if it were the last thing they do, because they would like nothing more than to watch as the edge of the cliff I'm clinging to crumbles between my fingers."

I'm not sobbing uncontrollably, yet anyway, but I still feel the cold tears roll down my cheeks. I reach up and swipe away one side with my palm and will the rest of them away. I would give anything for it to be him standing next to me instead of his mother. But if it can't be him, I'm glad that it's her. She's understanding. I figured out a long time ago that he gets a lot of who he is from his mother.

I feel a soft pressure being pressed against my shoulder blade, and it's warm. Not the same warmth I get from Arnold, but still very comforting. "Helga... Sweetie, I had no idea you felt this way." She says softly. I want to continue in spilling my guts, but I put the cork back on the bottle I had my emotions in. "Have you told any of this to Arnold? Because it's not healthy to hold all of this in."

I sniffle from the congestion my crying had caused, and continue, "Yeah... he knows. I can't count the number of times I've told him all this. I'm just... I'm just so afraid that one day he'll get so sick of having to pull me back up that he'll move on and find someone who isn't afraid to look the world in the eye and say 'bring it on, I can take it'. He deserves someone like that, after all. Not someone like me, who pulls him into the closet I keep hiding in, too afraid to let the world outside see the weakness of my emotions."

"Helga," She says, almost reassuringly and steps in front of me, reaching down to take my hands in hers, "a love like yours is _not _a weakness. If anything, I'd say that your love for my son has made both of you stronger. And I've seen the way he looks at you, when he thinks that no one is looking, including you. It's the same way Phillip looks at Gertie, and the same way I see Miles look at me."

"How's that?"

"Like you're the most precious thing in the world to him, which I'm sure you are."

I feel a smile burst through, feeling the love I feel for him fill my system, overcoming the turmoil of my insecurity.

"What I'm saying is that Arnold will not leave you. I think he gets a sense of pride when he gets to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright, a sense of fulfillment. All men feel the need to be needed to some capacity, Sweetie. So, try not to be so scared that he'll leave you for someone else, because I know for a fact that he won't."

I have no clue what just came over me, but I feel myself being pulled toward her. I step forward and wrap my arms around her, and I'm even more surprised when I feel her return my hug. After a long moment, I step back and she's still smiling at me. I avert my eyes down to the carpet, feeling embarrassed, and run my fingers over my ear to replace a few imaginary strands of out of place hair. The air between us just turned awkward, and I have no clue what to say to her to make it go away. I basically broke down in front of a woman whose more of a mother to me than my own, and it's a bit of a scary thought, especially when she might tell Arnold. It's a frightening thought, even though I know he already knows all of this.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by the sound of a familiar stride coming down the hall. I feel my heartbeat go light and jumpy and quickly take a large step over to the door and pull it open, poking my head out into the hall way. I smile at the sight of him in his black gym shorts and red band shirt. He's looking down at something in his hands, and I can't really tell what it is, but right now, I don't care. I'm just so happy to see him.

I quickly run out the door of his parents bedroom, catching his attention by the sound of my loud footsteps coming down the hall. I see his eyes widen a bit and he quickly shoves whatever he was looking at behind him. I know I should care what it is he's hiding, but right now, I don't care what it is. I just want to feel him hug me. When I throw my arms around him, I feel joy burst through my veins, especially when I feel his arms go around my midsection, coiling around me and keeping me hugged against him. "Hey." He half whispers in my ear.

I pull back and move my hands from around his shoulders to the sides of his neck, seeing him smirk down at me lovingly. So that's the look that Stella was talking about. My breath is already jumpy, and I can't keep it in anymore. I pull him down to me and smash his lips against mine, kissing him passionately. I wish there was a way to tell him I love him and kiss him at the same time.

I'm about to force his lips open so I can feel his tongue on mine, but I feel his hands push against my sides. The fuzz in my brain quickly shakes away and I see him looking past me, his eyes wide, his lips already puffy. "Hi Mom." He says, smiling an innocent, but all too telling smile.

I look over my shoulder, my hands still on his neck and see Stella smiling at us. She walks out of her bedroom and moves around us with nothing more than a light pat on her son's shoulder and a warm smile. He looks back to me confused. "I told her."

"Told her what?"

I shrug and move my arms back around his neck. "Everything. I felt good actually."

"Oh." He says with a slow nod. I think he's wondering what exactly 'everything' is.

"You're mom's actually very understanding."

"She is?" He asks me, sounding surprised. I thought he knew. I mean, she's his mother. I smile and nod. "So, she doesn't have a problem with us... you know."

"Having sex?" I say blatantly, already knowing what he meant, but just wanting to see him wince when I say it, which he did. "No, not at all. It was kind of surprising, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she said that she remembers what it's like to be young and in love. And I told her what it was like for us, that we didn't just start making out one day and it got out of hand. I told her that we actually talked it out, and made sure that we were both ready." His lips just turned into a soft smile, and I give into the urge and pet his hair back, seeing his eyes soften even more than they already were. "And I told her how caring, and how considerate you were, about how you didn't pressure me at all, and how loving you were." I keep petting his hair with every pause I take, enjoying that it feels sweat stained.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"It's nice to be reminded every once in a while." I wrap my arms back around his neck and lay my head down on his shoulder.

"So, does this mean that we can stop hiding. Just around my parents?"

I let out a deep breath and burrow myself deeper into his loving embrace. "Just around your parents."


	6. Chapter 6

"Band, Aten- _hut!_"

"_ONE_!" I shout, going to a strong attention set. I'm pretty proud of how myself, and of how my section did tonight. I feel pretty pumped right now, but I push it down to keep my attention position strong.

"Alright," Mrs. Hood begins over to speaker from her place on the hill in front of the practice lot, "our first competition is this Saturday. You all need to be here at seven, _sharp! _ We have a two hour practice and a run through. Leadership, you guys decide if your sections are doing sectional breakfasts or not. Dismissed."

Everybody in the band relaxed, including myself. I hear everybody else in leadership calling their sections over to meet and discuss the competition, and I turn around to do the same. "Kats! Top of the hill!" I call out and start jogging up the hill for our meeting before we go. I'm the first to reach the top and turn around, waiting for everybody else to arrive. But I see Matt and James starting toward the band room. "Matt!" I yell. I'm getting really sick of his attitude.

He turns around and looks at me, but he doesn't stop. At this point, everybody else is waiting for me to start, and I'm waiting for the upperclassmen to start acting like upperclassmen. I see James turn around and start jogging up the hill, and Matt stops. He glares up at me, but starts up the hill anyway. I'm so sick of him.

"Okay, good job everybody. Just remember to think of your sets. I mean, I can't speak for everybody else, but when I'm sitting in class, not doing anything, I'm going through the show in my head, going over my spots and where I need to be." I hear a small scoff come from the other side of the circle, but ignore it.

"Are we doing sectional breakfast?" Will asks me with a smile. I look over to him and shrug.

"I don't know. What do you guys think?" There seems to be a general understanding that everybody wants to do a sectional breakfast. A part of me was hoping not to so I didn't have to get up any earlier on a Saturday, but it will be nice to sit and relax and have fun with my section before things get serious. "Alright, I'll let you guys decide where we go. Work it out amongst yourselves and give me your answer tomorrow. Bring it in."

Everybody puts their hands on top of mine in the middle of the circle, and we all shouts KATS. I'm feeling pretty good about everything until I see Matt roll his eyes when he turns to head down the hill. "Hey Matt." I call after him.

He turns around, giving me a smile. Something tells me he's not being honest by smiling. "Yes, Arnold?" He says to me. What's with that tone?

"What's your problem?" I ask him, crossing my arms and shrugging.

"No problem." I says and turns around.

"Give me a break, Matt." He stops and turns back around, giving me a hard glare. "You and James are both seniors, and you need to start acting like it."

"Hey man, you listen-"

"No, you listen!" I raise my voice. I'm so fed up with him and his sour attitude. "Just because I was made section leader over you doesn't give you the right to start acting like you don't know or don't care what's going on. If your upset about Mrs. Hood making me section leader over you, the only thing your doing is proving to everyone that they made the right decision. So do us all a favor and cut the attitude."

I don't bother to go any further in my lecture and step around him and start for the band room. I let out a heavy sigh and run a hand through my hair. I put my horn away and grab my car keys from my case on my way out, along with my phone. I unlock it and see that Dad sent me a text during rehearsal, asking me to pick up Grandpa's prescription on my way home.

It isn't until I go to reply and see my conversation with Helga that I remember that she went to talk to Mom just a little while ago. I can't help but feel that it didn't go well. I let out another breath and push the door open to head outside and over to my car.

I fall into the driver seat of the Packard and close the door. I shove the key in the ignition, press down on the gas, and much to my relief, it starts. I let out another heavy breath and put it in reverse, and pull out of the parking lot of the school.

I wish I could say that I had faith in Mom not to yell and Helga about us lying to her about our relationship. But I don't. I know she asked me if Helga and I were doing it safely, and I know that I assured her that we were, every single time. But I know that a part of her is upset with us.

I was always dreading having to tell them. But I knew that it would have to happen eventually. I always knew my parents would find out, and I thought it would be nice if Helga and I would tell them together. But I don't know what Mom is saying to Helga, and I don't know what Helga is saying to her. I know Helga well enough to know that she isn't blabbing our intimate moments, making our entire private lives out to be Fifty Shades of Grey.

I know that, eventually, my parents will come to accept Helga's and I's having sex. I don't think they will anytime soon, but they will eventually. It was never my parents that I worry about. It's Helga's parents I worry about. They're nowhere near understanding at all. I know that deep down, they love and care for Helga just as much they do her older sister. I just wish they would tell her that.

Helga would be so much happier if her parents would just open themselves up and let themselves see what an amazing and incredible person their daughter is. But all they seem to see is Olga. And I know that my opinion is a tad biased, but I don't know what they see in Olga that they don't see in Helga. It sounds mean, but Helga is so much more, and is capable of so much more than Olga is. It just irks me that her parents, and everyone else for that matter, doesn't see what I see in Helga.

But what gets me the most is that _she _doesn't see it.

But no matter what we put each other through, or what we've been through together, I love her with all my heart. I don't think that could ever change, and I don't think I ever want it to. I smile to myself and an old version of Autumn Leaves comes on the radio and pull to a stop outside the pharmacy.

I walk inside and the lady smiles at me. "Name?"

"Shortman." I say just as I step up to the counter.

"Just a minute, I'll go and check if it's ready." The lady says and turns around and goes into the back.

I look around the store while I wait, looking through the candy on the rack below the counter. None of it seems as appealing as it did when I was a kid. I shake my head at the thought and look over to the rack of brochures. I go through them, just looking for something interesting, when one at the bottom catches my eye.

I pull it out, seeing the picture of a lush forest and beautiful blue lake. The top says Sanctuary Woods Inn in cursive lettering. This looks really, _really _nice. I probably couldn't afford to rent out their broom closet though. I chuckle at my own joke and flip it open.

I feel my jaw go slack when I see their prices though. It's actually really affordable. I could so afford a weekend here.

A bedroom with a queen size bed, bathroom attached, _and _a deck overlooking Washington forest? Breakfast included in the price. Man, this is amazing. "Here you are." Someone says to me.

I jump and look over to the woman behind the counter. "Oh… thank you." I say with a smile, the brochure still open in my hand. I grab the bag with my other hand and I'm really nervous to ask if I can take the brochure. "Um… can I take this?" I say, waving the brochure in front of me.

"Sure, that's why they're there." She says with a small chuckle. She turns back around and goes back into the back. I laugh at how easy that was and go back outside.

I climb back into the Packard and set Grandpa's meds on the passenger seat, looking back down to the brochure. Helga would go berserk if we went here. I bet no one would know us here. We wouldn't have to hid. We could be alone, and open, and affectionate with each other. We could wake up in each other's arms without having to worry about my parents walking in on us. We could do a lot of things without having to worry about my parents.

And after all, Thanksgiving break is coming up pretty soon. Just about a month, I think. We could go then. Sort of like an early birthday present for her. I still have some money left over from working over the summer, and now I'm really excited about this. I can't wait to tell Helga about this, but I want it to be a surprise too.

I wish I could just go pack a bag, pick her up and go now, but that's a bit unrealistic. But what I could do is call tonight and make the reservations. I smile and pull to a stop outside the boarding house. Man, I'm getting way too excited about this idea. I know Helga would love it, and I know that it will be so much fun. We could both use a vacation alone together.

I snatch Grandpa's meds and hop out of the car. I jump up the steps and open the door. "Arnold? That you, Short Man?" A familiar, raspy voice says from the other room.

"Yeah, it is, Grandpa." I say loudly and move to the living room. He's sitting in his chair with his feet up, like he usually is nowadays. "Got your meds, Grandpa."

"Aw, thanks, Arnold." He says with a smile. I hand him to bag and he pats my hand before I pull it away. "Helga showed up just a little bit ago, Short Man." He says while he pulls the bag open.

I feel my heart stop and a cold sweat break out over me. I completely forgot about that. "Thanks Grandpa." I say quickly and start out of the living room and up the stairs, but Dad catches me before I can dart up them.

"Hey son, how was rehearsal?" He asks me with a smile. If he knows that Helga and I have been lying to him, and have been sleeping together, why does he look so content about it?

"It was fine, Dad. Everybody's really excited about the competition on Saturday."

"You'll do great, I'm sure." He says to me with another smile. "Oh, Helga stopped by just a little bit ago. Can you go upstairs and tell her and your mother that their tea is ready?" I asks me and points his thumb up the stairs.

"Sure thing, Dad." I say suspiciously. He smiles brighter and pats me heavily on the shoulder and moves around me. I follow him until he walks into the living room. He's acting really cool after just finding out that I've been lying to him about my relationship with Helga.

I shake my head and move up the stairs and pull out the Sanctuary Woods Inn brochure from the seam of my gym shorts and look it over one more time. This place looks way too amazing to pass up. If this is the view from the deck of the room, that would be so beautiful. I hear a door open and her dart out of my parent's bedroom. Oh crap, she can't know about this now.

I quickly shove it back into the seam of my shorts so she won't see it, but she's already running toward me. She has that beautiful smile on her face, that unreserved, loving, gorgeous smile. She throws her arms around my neck, and I don't hesitate to throw my own around her small frame. It never ceases to amaze me how well our bodies fit together. "Hey." I whisper in her ear.

She grasps the sides of my neck with her small warm hands, and pulls back. Her eyes are so beautifully blue, I'd stare at them all day if she'd let me. Before I can react, she pulls me down to her and smashes her lips against mine. I can feel something in her kiss. It's more passionate than just a normal 'hello' kiss. But I'm not complaining.

But something's off. I pop my eyes open and feel myself freeze, but push Helga off of me at the same time when I see Mom's eyes on us. My mind is whirling with the fact that she's just smiling over at us, and Helga's hands are still on my neck, and my arms are still around her. "Hi Mom!" I say cheerfully, hoping to throw her off.

She simply shakes her head and moves around us, patting me on the arm when she passes us. I look back to the girl in my arms for something to do. "I told her." She says with a cool tone.

"Told her what?"

"Everything." She says with a calm shrug and moves her arms back around my neck. What exactly is everything? Like _everything _everything, or what?

I'm having a hard time believing that, if she does know everything, that Mom isn't mad about this. "So… she doesn't have a problem with us… you know."

"Having sex?" I shudder at her use of the intimate word in the hall with all the borders probably listening. "No, not at all. It was kind of surprising actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she said that she remembers what it's like to be young and in love. And I told her what it was like for us, that we didn't just start making out one day and it got out of hand. I told her that we actually talked it out, and made sure that we were both ready." I remember that conversation so vividly. I was so nervous and scared, and I knew that it was a huge step for both of us. "And I told her how caring," she starts petting my hair back with her hand in a long, slow motion. God, I love it when she does that. "And how considerate you were, about how you didn't pressure me at all, and how loving you were."

"You're amazing, you know that?" I just want everyone to know the Helga that I do.

"It's nice to be reminded once in a while." She quips with a smile and puts her arms back around me, and lay her head down onto my shoulder this time. She's so warm.

"So, does this mean that we can stop hiding? Just around my parents?" I ask hopefully. I just want her to be in my arms, while there are other people around.

She sighs nuzzles herself into me, and I tighten my arms further around her. "Just around your parents."

I smile at our agreement and kiss her hair lightly. I feel so much for her right now. I can't help but feel that she's starting to come out of her shell that she only lets me through. "So, you need a ride home?"

She moans tiredly. She's getting a bit heavier in my arms, and I can tell that she's tired. "Can't I just stay here tonight? You said yourself that we can stop hiding." Her voice is getting more drawn out, and I have a feeling she's doing it on purpose.

"I don't know, Helga. It would just feel… weird." Really, I would love it if she were to sleep here tonight. I always sleep better with her in my arms. But I don't want her seeing the brochure I brought home. I don't even know if we're really going or not.

"Alright. I guess you can drive me home then."

"But…" I say, never passing up the opportunity to be charming, "I do have something in mind that I think you will love."

"Oh?" She says and leans back with a raised brow. "And what would that be?"

"It's a surprise."

"You know how I feel about surprises, Football Head."

I deflate at her bringing that up, "Helga, that was _one _time, okay? One time! I didn't know that gum really tasted like sweat! And I apologized, when it was Gerald's idea in the first place." She has a thing about that time in the sixth grade. It's always the first thing she brings up when we start to argue about something pointless that doesn't need to be argued over.

"Just tell me what it is and save me the trouble of having to find out myself." She tells me and gives me one of her deadpan stares.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not telling you until everything is ready. But I _promise _you, you're going to love it. I know you're going to love it."

She looks at me for a moment with narrowed eyes, and I can see that brilliant mind of hers starting to kick into gear. "What are you planning?" She asks me seriously.

"I told you, Babe, I'm not telling you until everything is ready. You know I never keep secrets from you. But I'm asking you, please, give me a few days. I'll tell you during the game on Friday."

She lets out a heavy sigh and puts her head back on my shoulder and I kiss her forehead again and lay my head down onto hers. Sometimes, it just catches me off guard how much I love this girl, how deep seeded it is, and how embedded she is in my system, twenty four hours of every day. And right now is one of those times. I press my lips to her hair again and start rubbing her back, gently coxing her out of the sleepy state she seems to have drifted off into.

"You ready for me to take you home now?"

"I'm ready for you to take me to bed." She says lazily and lays her head back down on my shoulder and closes her eyes again.

I chuckle and press her back again, "Come on, Babe. I'll drive you home."

* * *

After I drive Helga home, and we quickly kiss each other goodbye for the night, so's to not draw any unwanted attention, I head back home and up to bed after a quick plate of pasta that Mom made. And now, sitting on my bed with my phone in my hand and a brochure in the other, I dial the number nervously and wait for someone to answer. "Sanctuary Woods Inn, this is Carol."

"Hi Carol, my name is Arnold, and I was wondering if I could make a reservation to stay in one of your rooms." I say with my eyes on the prices they have listed.

"I'll be glad to help you out. When did you plan on coming down?"

"The last weekend in November, the weekend after Thanksgiving."

I hear the sound of a keyboard being typed on in the background before she continues, "We do in fact have a few rooms available then. All of our rooms are equipped with a full bathroom, queen sized bed, and an outside deck."

"Yes, I saw that in your brochure." I tell her, looking at the front again.

"Yes, the going price is as listed in the brochure, and it's a flat rate for a weekend. Could I have your last name?"

"Shortman."

"Alright Mr. Shortman, and how many?"

I smile to myself and pick up the picture strip that Helga and I took together at the hall last year, "Just two."

**A/N: Many of you have been asking of FTi happened at all in the back story, and I'll let you know in coming chapters :)**

**And I can tell that you guys are going to make me make this an amazing story. Thanks again for your support and your reviews.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: You all thought I let this story go, didn't you ;) **

**Nope, still going with it! I just haven't been able to write lately. Just started a new job and am working ten hour shifts a day. So updates on this, and Can't See the Forest are going to be a bit slow. Mainly reserved for the weekend. I'm going to try and get the next chapter of Can't See the Forest out by tomorrow night if I can. Thanks for the patience though.**

* * *

_The sand feels rough and cold beneath my bare feet. I don't know why I decided to leave my shoes back at the house, but combined with the sound of the waves and the brisk breeze in the air, it feels nice. The moon is so pretty tonight. It's so big and bright. I can see everything clearly from the light.  
_

_Oh my god. Who is that? _

_She's... she's gorgeous. _

_Her skin is so white and so pale, she looks like a ghost. But it still has a glow to it. Almost like porcelain. And that hair. It's so long and wavy and light, I'm pretty sure it's blonde, if not, it's made out of gold. Her figure is so small, but so softly refined. And that thin veil that she has tied around her waist makes her hair look like it's flowing even more. I don't think I've ever seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. _

_My heart is slamming and hammering more than I've ever felt, and it feels so hard to breath. But my feet seem to be moving because I can feel the waves move against my skin on them. I want to call out to this... this goddess, but I can't find my voice. Maybe it's because my mouth is so dry. God, this girl is absolutely gorgeous. But who is it? I would have recognized a girl this pretty before. _

_I close my mouth and clear my throat, but this massive lump is still there. And with that sound, she turns around. It can't be. "Helga?" _

_"Couldn't sleep either, Football Head?" _

_That's Helga!? She's so beautiful. How have I not ever noticed her eyes before, or her hair? She's always warn it up in pig tails up until this year when she started wearing it in a pony tail. "Um..." I force my eyes shut and shake my head, but when I open them again, she's even more beautiful than before I closed them. "No, I guess I couldn't." I say with a nervous chuckle. I've never been this nervous around her before. _

_I hear her sigh and she smiles at me softly. I don't want to look away from her, but she turns around and faces away and back toward the ocean. _

_"Helga," She turns back to me with her eyes seeming to bore into me, but pull me into her at the same time. "You're... you're so..."  
_

_I'm only a few feet away from her now, but I still can't find the right words. "Out with it, Football Head." She says and turns to face me. She isn't scowling at me, she's just looking at me with those big, beautiful eyes of hers. Oh my god, I can't look away. I've never felt this way before. She's so pretty. Even when she called me football head, it didn't sound like an insult like it did before. It sounded like an endearment almost. My heart is still slamming, and I know I'm sweating from the heated coolness on my skin. How can I be hot and cold at the same time? "Arnold?" She says to me. _

_I feel my breath hitch. She almost never calls me by my real name. I know that we've known each other pretty much our entire lives, but the thought that a girl this gorgeous knows my name makes my stomach all fluttery. I can feel my hands touching something so warm that it's almost burning. I look down and I want to slap myself. My hands somehow ended up on her bare sides. I look up to her, waiting for her to scream and push me into the water, but she doesn't. Instead, she just keeps looking up at me with those big blue eyes. _

_"I don't want to say anything stupid." _

_Well, that was pretty stupid, wasn't it? I want to run away, but I don't want to stop touching her. She's so soft and warm. Our eyes are locked, and I can't look away, but I can feel her put her hands on my shoulders. Then, she looks down a bit. I think she's looking at my lips. Her's look so warm and inviting. We haven't kissed each other since that day on that roof. Man, that seems like a life time ago. I wonder if she really was kidding. That kiss seemed pretty real to me. I wonder if she still feels that way. _

_I wonder if I could kiss her. _

_Before I can tell myself to move in, my lips are just a hair away from hers and I can feel her breath fan off of me. A second later, I feel her lips touch mine. It's so light, almost like we're not even really kissing, but still, it's so intense. My heart is pounding even more than it was when I first saw her. I feel her palms slide over the skin on my shoulder as her arms go around my neck, and it's not until then that I realize that I seem to be pulling her into me. I just can't contain myself. I want more. So, I deepen the kiss, and I'm surprised when she deepens it even more than I did. The only sound I can hear now is the sound of our lips. _

_Our kiss comes to a stop and I can't feel her lips on mine anymore. I open my eyes and see her pulling back, her lips still pouted out and her eyes closed with her brow raised. "That was incredible." I say. I'm not willing to let her out of my arms just yet. _

_"You kissed me." She says to me after she opens her beautiful eyes up to me again. _

_"I-I'm sorry." I stutter and take a small step back. _

_"You actually kissed me." She says with a smile bursting onto her face._ "You _actually kissed _me!" _She's so cute when she's excited. _

_"You're not mad?" _

_"Do it again!" _

_"Wha-" _

_"Kiss me again!" She says and bounces on the balls of her feet. How come she's never been this adorable before. _

_I smile and pull her into me again. _

I feel my eyes flutter open to nothing but darkness. Where's Helga? She was just here.

Oh... crap.

I love it, and hate it when I have that dream of our first kiss together. I love it because it's one of my favorite memories, and I hate it because whenever I have it, she's never with me. I look up to my alarm clock and see that it's just past eleven, and I haven't even been in bed for an hour and a half. Well, I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon. I guess I better sneak down to the kitchen and get some water to cool myself off.

I toss my covers off and start down the stairs and down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Stella, he's only seventeen, he's too young!" That sounds like Dad.

"Honey, he may only be seventeen, but he's very mature." That's Mom. She sounds a lot calmer than Dad does.

"Maturity has nothing to do with it, Stella! He's too young to be having sex!" Oh, crap. I feel myself stop in the hall. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.

"Miles, you're not taking everything into consideration. I talked to Helga, and she said herself that her and Arnold sat down and talked about it. Arnold wanted to make sure that they were both ready before they did anything."

"And that makes it okay? Stella, this is our son!"

"Honey, this isn't any easier to accept for me than it is for you. I know it seems like he's too young because he had to grow up without us, but the reality is that he's getting to be an adult now. And you should know how much you Shortman men are hopeless romantics." I guess I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, but I fell in love with one too so, I guess it's not so bad.

"How can you be so calm about this, Stella?!"

"Because I know that him and Helga are going to find a way to be together, whether we like it or not. I think that if we tell them that he has to break up with her and never see her again that it will only make him want to be with her even more. And we both know Helga, Miles. She loves our son more than life itself, and I know this because she told me. Now, I don't like this any more than you do. But them being together intimately is going to happen whether we approve or not. And I think the best think to do is just talk to him and make sure to take it seriously. And I think that it would be best coming from his father."

Dad sighs loud enough for me to hear through the door and I hear him climb into bed. "I'm not ready for him to be so grown up, Stel."

I hear the bed creak a bit, "Neither am I, Honey."

* * *

The next morning, I'm up bright and early. Well, maybe not bright, but early, before anyone else. Mainly because I found it difficult to get back to sleep from what I overheard Mom and Dad talking about last night. I never knew that they had a problem with my growing up. I guess I never thought about it.

I pick up the spatula and lift the splatter screen from the frying pan and move the bacon around a bit so it doesn't burn then put the screen back on. After a minute, I hear someone walking into the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure it's Dad. He's always the first one up in the morning. I turn around and, sure enough, I see him shuffling into the kitchen with his robe loosely hung over his shoulders and a tired look on his face. "Morning Dad." I say happily.

"What are you doing up so early, Son?" I asks me and starts to shuffle toward the cupboard with the coffee cups in it.

"Just wanted to make you guys breakfast, that's all." I say and lift the screen and take the bacon out and put it on a small saucer and move over to the carton of eggs I took out a little bit ago.

"Listen... Arnold," Dad begins and steps up to my side. I knew this was coming, but I was hoping I wouldn't be so nervous about his reaction as I am. "You're mother and I have been talking, about you and Helga."

I stop scrambling the eggs in the bowl and turn to him. "I love her, Dad. She's the greatest and best thing that's ever happened to me and I never want to be with anyone else. And I know that you're going to say that we're too young, but we both knew what we were doing when we decided to be with each other. We both knew how big of a step it was, and we were both very serious about doing it safely. If you don't believe me, I can go up to my room and show you the box of condoms I have in my drawer." I honestly don't know what just came over me to stand up to him like that. He didn't even really say anything other than him and Mom have been talking.

"Son, we know that. And we trust you to make the smart choice when you and Helga..." He trails off and looks away. "But Arnold, I just want you to understand that you are both still very young."

"Grandma and Grandpa were younger than us when they were first together." I say quickly.

Dad leans back and gives me a pointed, confused look. "Who on earth told you that?"

"They did!"

Dad sighs and runs his hand through his hair and turns away.

"Dad, I know Helga and I may seem young, but I can try to tell you about the girl I knew in my freshman year who got pregnant and had to transfer out and start getting home schooled because she was getting so tormented by everyone, but I know that won't help my argument. I just want you to know that no matter how old I may get, I'll always be your son."

He smiles sadly to me and steps toward me and throws his arm over my shoulder and I put my arm around his back. "I know, Arnold."

"There is something I wanted to ask you though."

"Anything, Son."

I sigh and brace myself. "Helga is just... so amazing. She's so passionate and caring and smart, and I've never seen someone so beautiful, but... I don't want to hide her anymore."

"What do you mean?" He said and takes his arm from out around me and leans back against the counter.

"Well, we've been dating for a year and a half now, and it's been great. But we've been dating secretly. Not even Gerald knows that Helga and I are together. In fact, I think he still thinks I'm gay. But Helga seems to think that if everyone were to know that I love her, they would tear us apart. She's just so afraid of what other people think of her. But I don't care what other people may say. I know who she is and I know that I love her, and what other people think doesn't affect that at all. How do I get her to see how amazing she really is?"

He sighs heavily again and looks down to the ground. "I'm not sure, Son. But something tells me that it will have to be you to tell everyone that you're in love with her and that no one will ever change that. Once you do that, she may very well follow."

* * *

We had just marched off the field from our show during half time. I think, overall, we did pretty well. I'm glad it's a home game this week. Having third quarter off is always better when it's a home game. And I have a promise to fulfill tonight.

I quickly jog up to the stands and set my hat down on top of my horn and race through the crowd of people on the track, through the lines at the concession stand and out to the parking lot. She said that she would be waiting at my car, and I parked it in the most secluded part on purpose, just in case someone else had the idea of walking through the parking lot at this time.

My car comes into view, and I see her leaning against the passenger side door with her arms crossed. She has her hair down tonight. She's gotten even more beautiful than that summer night on the beach a year and a half ago. She turns her head and meets my eyes with one of her gorgeous smiles and pushes off the car. "Hey Babe." I say and wrap my arms around her.

She hugs me back and I keep my arms around her and lean back, and her arms go around my neck. "Have I ever told you how hot you are in your band uniform?"

"You've mentioned it a couple times." A couple times? She says that to me every time she sees me in my band uniform. She smiles a bit brighter and I lean down and capture it in a kiss. She pulls back and flicks her hair over her shoulder.

"So, what's this big surprise you have in store for me?"

"Promise me you'll keep an open mind?"

"Just saying that says to me that I'm not going to like this." She says with a deadpan stare.

I roll my eyes and take a step back, turning by back to face her. "Unzip me." I say, pointing to the zipper on my red band jacket. She sighed broadly and rips the zipper down and I pull my jacket off and toss it on the hood and pull the brochure out from the pocket of my black band pants. "Here."

One of her brows raises and she takes it from me. "What's this?"

"You're birthday present."

"My birthday isn't until March, Football Head." She says and waves the brochure around. She hasn't even opened it yet, and I'm feeling a bit let down at her reaction.

"Helga, just open it." She sighs again and flips open the brochure of the Sanctuary Woods Inn, at which I have already made reservations.

"Likes really nice." She says as she looks over the brochure.

"I'm glad you think so, because I made reservations for us for the weekend after Thanksgiving."

Her eyes go wide and she looks up to me. "What?"

"Yep. I saw the brochure when I was picking up Grandpa's meds the other day, and I called and made us reservations."

"But Arnold, I... we... you're talking about a trip to a secluded bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere."

She looks a bit scared, and this, I didn't expect. "Exactly." I say and pull her back to me. "Helga, I want to take you somewhere nice. Somewhere where we don't have to hide our relationship. Somewhere where no one knows us, where we can fall asleep together and not have to worry about our parents catching us. I want to do this for us... for you. Because I love you. Come on, Babe, we need a weekend away from everything, from everyone. Where it's just us, and no one else."

Her eyes are starting to get glossy and I see a smile returning to her lips.

"And I already paid for the room, so..." She lets out a watery chuckle and puts her arms back around me. "So what do you say?"

"I say..." She begins softly and starts petting my hair back, "I say I have the best boyfriend imaginable."

"And that boyfriend has the greatest girlfriend imaginable." I just wish that that girlfriend knew she was the greatest.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: As some of you may have noticed, if you've read my other stories, I've never written Arnold as the classic, oblivious Arnold that he is in the show. And if you're getting confused about the changing writing styles, remember that Helga and Arnold are two different people with two different ways of thinking and speaking, and to that end, I need to make it so you can tell whose POV you're reading simply by the way the character is being read as. **

**So, if you're wondering why Arnold's POV seems to be less poetic, and seems to have less symbolism that Helga's, thats because he's not as poetic and not as symbolic as his girlfriend. ;)**

* * *

I honestly don't know what I did to deserve someone like him, but I would rather not draw too much attention to it.

He's taking me away to a secluded log cabin in the middle of nowhere. Oh, how I've dreamed of this. I already have it pictured in my head. He carries the luggage into the room after I told him I would take it, and he groans loudly as he sets it down onto the floor outside of the door at the end of the hall. Then he turns around and flashes me one of his beautiful smirks and pushes open the door and then he would lift me up into his arms as best he could and carry me over to the bed, and lay me down and then we start throwing each others clothes off in a fit of unstoppable passion that would end in us in a pile of heaving, sweaty, naked limbs.

In my head, there's a brick log fireplace and a large bearskin rug in front of it, and a small balcony over looking the lush forest. I have a vague idea of what the room actually looks like already, but still, I know I'll be thrilled when we get there either way, bearskin rug or not. I'm just surprised that the matter of our parents didn't come up when he was trying to talk me into it. Right, like my parents would give a shit. They'd have to know that I'm their daughter and actually have a blood relation to them first.

But his parents, I'm not so sure about. I know that Stella and I came to something close to an understanding on our physical relationship, and the fact that she cares enough about me to ask if I was serious about him being more scared than I was. But she never really said 'Hey, you can have sex with my son all you want'. But I tried my best to tell her how serious we are and how much I love him. But then there was that little segway I took when she asked me why we are hiding.

And his dad, I haven't even gotten his views on the whole thing. But I do understand what Stella was trying to say to me. It must have been hard for them to deal with coming back to a son that they left right before his first birthday, when he wasn't even walking yet and seeing him grown up. Parents are supposed to have an influence in your life, they're suppose to help you and shape you into the person that you are to become, but he did it all by himself, pretty much. Parents are suppose to know who you are, they're suppose to be able to know what you'd think of something, but they came back to a son that they had to get to know, that they weren't a part of at all.

I never really thought about it until she said something, but now that she helped me come to this realization, it must be pretty heartbreaking for them. But I guess if you look at my life in a photo album, it wouldn't exactly be a romantic comedy. Mariam's still drunk and Bob is still the same careless barbarian that everybody else knows and loves, and my sister is still the world's next mother freaking Teresa, perfect at absolutely everything she does but can't handle the harsh reality that is the world outside her report card.

And me? I'm just Helga Geraldine Pataki. The girl who wears skate shoes, cargo pants and doesn't even know what a blouse is. But for some crazy reason, there is a lighthouse in my fog coated life in the form of the greatest man that will ever walk the earth, named Arnold.

I wanted to go over to his place tonight and spend the night with him, but he has a competition in the morning to get up early for, and I won't see him all day. But Phoebe asked me to come over earlier this afternoon. Hey, as long as I have an excuse to get out of the house. I still have to go back for the night though, since Phoebe is out with Gerald.

I've tried to respect my love's friendship with Gerald, and I think that overall, I've done a pretty good job. But really, if you look at our situation, we should at least be civil with each other. I mean, he's the love of my life's best friend, and he's my best friends boyfriend as of the last week. But he stays away from me as best he can. If I'm being brutally honest I would say that it's his fault. After all, he's one of the school's coolest people, and he has pretty much the same opinion on me as the rest of the school, and he's not really as afraid to show it as he was back in grammar school. I think he caught on after a while that my threats never really carried that much weight behind them.

And I know that Arnold gave up trying to talk him into seeing the good in me, as he has trying to talk me into seeing the good in him. But no matter what Gerald and I may think of each other, what it all boils down to is that he's my love's best friend and I need to respect that. And it can't exactly work both ways because he would have to know about Arnold and me, which he doesn't, and if I were to have my way, never will.

I'm broke out of my thoughts by the sight of my house and I jump up the steps and open the door. Typical that Bob doesn't bother to lock the door. He didn't even give me a key, I had to get a copy made myself. It seems that no matter how heartwarming my thoughts are, whenever I walk through this door, it all fades until I get up to my room. I walk down the hall, passing the kitchen where I hear the blender going and the sound of Bob's stupid TV going. I quickly jump up the steps, hoping not to be here on the one blue moon that my parents actually want something from me and quickly make my way into my bedroom, closing the door firmly behind me.

I let out a deep breath trying to bring back thoughts of my beloved, which I know won't happen until I go over to my bed and reach under it to get the box of pictures and mementos that I've accumulated of us over the past year and a half.

I spend the rest of the lonely night slowly digging through the shoe box of our time together, gazing at each item, first the small stuffed animal I won him down at the fair before we were actually dating, then the ticket stubs of the first movie we snuck into to make out in, then the packet of pictures of us, taken from a disposable camera that we used up laying on his bed, just taking as many pictures in as many faces as we could. My favorite one is the one of us kissing. I love how his arm is curling me into him, and the way I seem to be giggling into the kiss, which I remember vividly I was.

I hug the picture to my chest and let out a loving sigh and fall down to my bed. I just love him so much.

* * *

_This trip was suppose to be our chance to finally break through this weird friend zone limbo we seem to be in. He was suppose to see that I am the only one who will ever truly love him, and that he's the only one that will ever love me. But we go home tomorrow, and that's that. We're back to school in a month and then the cliques will form again and the only time we'll ever see each other is when we slam into each other in the hall way. And while I will scream at him about how stupid he is, inside, my heart will crack when he apologizes and then shatter when he walks away. _

_I feel so embarrassed wearing this thing. I don't even know why I bought this stupid bikini. I'm not anything close to a super model, and I felt even more embarrassed wearing gym shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt to the beach this afternoon. But now, I feel almost naked... and a little cold. _

_Everyone else is asleep back at Rhonda's beach house. And the only reason I got invited was because I'm friends with Phoebe, who is friends with Rhonda, and everybody else for that matter. _

_I have a deep feeling that it's symbolic that the tide is washing away my footprints right as I leave them, but it's only logical. Tide goes in, and then it goes out, taking with it what it will and sometimes bringing something new back in. But what won't go away is my love for him. I've forced myself to try and be nicer to him, because if this stupid childish fantasy is ever to be fulfilled, I can't do it by being a complete bitch all the time. _

_Maybe we just weren't meant to be like I always thought we were. Maybe I should just let this tide carry this stupid infatuation away so I can live a lonely, depressing life like I was born to. That's what everybody keeps telling me anyway. That I was meant to be all alone all of my life. Maybe I just need to give up. _

_"A-hem." _

_What the... _

_Oh, it's just him. "Helga?" I don't think I'm going to win this battle with my emotions.  
_

_ I push down hard on the feeling of the rising swoon at the sight of his bare chest, "Couldn't sleep either, Football Head?" I casually ask. I really wish he wasn't here right now. I'm right in the middle of trying to get over him. _

_His feet are dragging in the sand, almost as if he doesn't want to get any closer. What else is new? "Um..." His piecing green eyes screw shut and his head, which he is growing into so nicely shakes. His eyes open back to me and he seems to force a small smile. "No, I guess I couldn't." He says with a small laugh. He's almost never laughed around me. But I guess I'm just not funny, in the comical sense anyway. Everybody else laughs _at _me. But not him. He's the only one that's treated me like anything close to a real person. Even Phoebe has laughed at me when I'm not around. _

_I can't look at him anymore. The ocean looks so appealing to jump into, and away from everything. "Helga," I turn back around, and he's so much closer than he was when I looked away. He still hasn't stopped creeping toward me. "You're... You're so..." Mean, cynical, cold, can't stand being around you. I just want him to get it over with, for him to tell me off so I can take the rest of my life to get over it. _

_"Out with it, Football Head." I turn to face him fully, probably in a subconscious attempt to take this gut punch in stride. His mouth is hanging open and he won't stop looking at me. He's looking me right in the eye, almost like he's in a trance. What's wrong with him? He's never been like this before, he's starting to scare me a little. "Arnold?" _

_Just then, his soft, skinny hands are touching my bare skin. Oh my god! Look at what I'm wearing! I'm in my freaking underwear for Christs sake! My heart feels like it about to punch it's way out of my chest, it's slamming so hard. What in the hell is happening?! ____"I don't want to say anything stupid." He says out of seemingly nowhere. _

_What are my hands doing!? Stop touching his beautiful skin! I didn't tell you to do that! No, don't stop. Don't ever stop. I don't know what's happening, but what ever he's about to do, I don't want him to stop. His skin feels so soft and so warm, and his eyes, even though shaded in the darkness of the night, are still the beautifully cut emeralds that I know and love. His lips look so appealing right now. We haven't kissed in so long. Not since that fateful day on the roof. I wonder if he even remembers that day. He bought it when I coped out of the whole thing.  
_

_But he has to be smarter than that, right? _

_He has to know that I really meant what I said back than, and would still mean every single word if I were to repeat it now after so many years. His hands feel like they're the only thing holding me together right now, but at the same time, they're stirring me up so much I feel like I'm about to explode if he doesn't let go, but I don't want him to. I just want him to kiss me. Oh my god... _

_He's kissing me! He's actually kissing me! This is incredible, his lips feel so amazingly incredible on mine! I think my heart just stopped. His shoulders feel so tense under my wandering hands. He's kissing me! Oh, Arnold, my love, don't ever stop! Holy crap, he just pressed his lips to mine fully. His lips taste so amazing. _

_With a soft pluck of our unwillingly separated lips, I feel him pulling back. What, am I not a good kisser or something? "That was incredible." He says. What?! _

_Incredible!? Oh, Arnold! "You kissed me." I say and pop my eyes open. _

_"I-I'm sorry." He stutters at me and starts to pull away. Don't go! _

"You _actually kissed _me!" _I've always been the one to make the first move. But he just kissed me! He actually kissed me! "You actually kissed me!" My face hurts I'm smiling so hard, but this amazing man that has me in his loving arms just kissed me, I think a smile is warranted. __  
_

_"You're not mad?" _

_"Do it again!" I want him to kiss me again, I don't want to kiss him, I want him to kiss me. Please, kiss me again, Arnold! _

_"Wha..." _

_"Kiss me again!" I say and bounce on my feet. I feel like a little girl again, being held under an umbrella by a cute little football headed boy in a yellow rain coat. I love him so much, and I don't ever want to stop loving him! Oh, that smile, his smile. I want his smile to be for me, and me alone. And he's kissing me again! I want him only to kiss me, just me and no one else! I want to be his, and I want him to be mine. _

_His lips work so effortlessly against mine, and yet, I can still feel my heart jump erratically in my chest, having burst with love for the umpteenth time. His hands go around to my back and he presses me into him, pressing our bare stomachs together. Oh, this is so amazing. I never thought I'd feel this way. Was that his tongue?! Did Arnold just french kiss me? Well, two can play that game. Oh my god, our tongues are wrestling, and mines losing! _

_"Oh, Arnold..." _

"Oh, Arnold, my Arnold, my love."

What? Where the hell am I?

Oh... fuck.

And I can't even see him tomorrow! And it's one in the morning, so it's not like I can go over to his house now... could I?

No, no, he has a competition tomorrow. I push myself up and change into some sweats and a teal shirt that I stole from him and go back to bed.

So, we didn't exactly french kiss that night, but that's where it goes whenever I have that dream. But he did pull me into him and kiss me again, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Like we had been together for years.

I still remember how I was feeling right before he came up to me. He even said that I looked, and I quote, 'ravishing' in that pink bikini and pink floral sarong that he caught me in. We walked each other back to the beach house after we kissed for a few more seconds that night, and then parted ways awkwardly in the hall way and went to our perspective rooms. It was the next morning that we woke up before everyone else because they were all up late at the bond fire, while Arnold and I tried to sleep but couldn't manage it.

I walked up to him in the kitchen and he said that I looked ravishing in that bikini, and I chuckled and blushed harshly. But then he said that I was cute when I was excited, and he said how adorable I was when I told him to kiss me again, so I kissed him. That was the first time that we actually made out. That's when Lila walked in and we sprang apart and tried to act natural.

I have to go hang out with Phoebe tomorrow, so I better get some sleep. I've always wondered what would have happened if it wasn't his ex girlfriend who walked in. He's even told me that he didn't feel anything whenever they were going out. That all she wanted to do was sit at home and watch Little House on the Prairie. He said that there wasn't anything there, no deepness like he feels with me. He just didn't connect with her like he does with me.

He said that he didn't, and never will love her, or anyone else, like he loves me.

I lift up the picture of us kissing on his bed up again, and I feel myself smile, like I knew I would.

I'm going to marry him someday, if it's the last thing I do.

* * *

**A/N: I had to look up what a sarong was. **

**I'm a guy, give me a break. :(**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So, bit of a dilemma, but I'm having a hard time deciding whether of not to make this story M rated. I really don't like to make stories M rated unless it's absolutely necessary to the story telling, which I'm having a hard time deciding if it is or not. **

**If you feel that an intimate scene would be necessary to the story, and want me to bump up the rating in a chapter or two, then I will. But if you don't want me to, by all means, let me know by way of a review or PMing me. **

**I will take all of your suggestions into consideration because I really don't want to offend anybody by writing an M rated scene. If I do, however, decide to raise the rating, I will let you all know in advance, so when you go to look for this story in the fanfiction updates, you know to switch the rating search from k-t to all. **

**So, let me know what you guys think of me uping the rating, thanks!**

* * *

It's been a week since marching season ended, and we did better than we did last year. We got 3rd in the Contest of Champions, the competition for all of the tri-county area. Now, we are in regular band and times are starting to slow down. Well, kind of.

It's the last day of school before the Thanksgiving break, and I have not even begun to make the preparations needed to make our trip actually happen. And I've ran every lie, made up story, and scenario out in my head, and I can only think of one. And it requires me telling Gerald about Helga and I, and not telling Helga that I told him. She would literally kill me if she were to find out, but I'm hoping to take her mind off of everything next weekend. That's what this trip is for, to take all of our worries and burdens away and just spend time together, relaxing and enjoying each other.

And if I want to do that for her, I need to tell my parents that Gerald invited me to a concert that weekend. I'm still debating whether to tell them that a bunch of other guys are going to make it seem more believable, but I have a feeling that it will be made on the spot. But it all comes down to me having to tell Gerald about Helga and I. I need to cover all my bases if I want this to work. I asked him over to play video games this afternoon and he said he would be over after he dropped Phoebe off at home.

Helga walked home alone like she always does. Every once in a while I ask if she wants a ride home, but she always just gives me one of her looks that says 'no way'. Things between us have been going pretty smoothly, and normally as far as normal goes for us. I know that some people say that the feeling goes away after you've been with the same person for so long, but even after a year and a half of being with her, I'm more in love with her than I am the say I saw her on that beach. I just really hope Gerald will understand that.

We've been like brothers for as long as I can remember. He knows pretty much everything there is to know about me, except for this. The most he knows about Helga and I is that she occasionally yells at me for bumping into her in the hall way. He doesn't know that I do it on purpose. I have a sinking feeling that he will take it as a betrayal my not telling him about such a big part of my life. But we're best friends, he will understand.

I pass through the house with the usual amount of hello's from Mom and Dad and the other boarders and shut the door behind me in my room. I let my backpack fall to the floor beside the couch and go over and turn on the TV. It's another ten minutes of being caught up in my thoughts of how this conversation will go before I hear the door open. "What's up, bro?" He says casually and throws his hand back.

I stand up and smile, "What's up, Man?" We slam our hands together in a hi-five and we both plop down onto the couch.

"Ready to get your ass kicked?" He says to me when he picks up his controller.

"Don't get too cocky." I reply and pick up mine.

The game ensues and we decide to go online. Gerald's doing pretty good, and I'm just sort of... there. I've never been as good as he is at video games. There's only one other person I know of who is better than he is, and with the icon that just popped up at the corner of the screen, she just got on. I force down the sly smile that I feel myself smiling and look over to Gerald who just got another kill and pumped his fist in the air. "Yeah!" He shouts and quickly goes back to the game. I just run around and try not to get shot, while Gerald expertly moves around the map on another one of his killing sprees. "Man, I'm in the-" His voice falls flat when we both see his characters head explode.

I have to literally swallow the laughter when the name the person who killed him appears. She always has it out for him.

"Where the _hell _did he come from?" He says loudly and throws his arm toward the screen.

"You've got to watch your six next time, Gerald." I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly dig it out and have to swallow another laugh. _Tell Gerald the next time he lets his head get that inflated, I'm going to blow it off for real. _I shake my head with a laugh and shove my phone back into my pocket.

We play for another half hour before Gerald gets too frustrated not being the best and goes to the bathroom. I love it when she gets on with us. But today, all it did was remind me of the conversation that I told myself I would have. I had forgotten about it until now. And just as I remembered, I feel like a ton of brinks had just been dropped on my shoulders. I don't think it's going to easy to tell Gerald that the person behind that screen name is my girlfriend of a year and a half, and is a girl that we both have known for the greater part of our lives. Much less tell him that that person is Helga.

I hear him coming up the steps again and I feel my breath start to get heavy. This is going to be harder than I thought. "I swear, that sniper has five bullets in a clip, and that guy used them every single one on my head." He says and closes the door behind him and paces his way through my bedroom.

"Yeah..." I say with a small chuckle, not really knowing how to continue. A silence falls between us and it feels a bit awkward. I take one last breath and let it out slowly before I force the words out. "Listen, Gerald..." I begin and see him turn to me with a wondering look. "About the guy that kept killing you..."

He turns to me and starts pacing his way toward me from the other side of the room.

"He's my girlfriend."

I want to kick myself at the words that just fell from my mouth, and I know Gerald is going to take it the wrong way. "Oh, man, I was just kidding about the whole-"

"No, no, it's not..." I let out a breath and run my hand through my hair and turn away from him. "I meant to say that that person is my girlfriend."

"I _knew _it! I knew you had a girl hidden away somewhere! Who is she? She go to another school?" He seems pleasantly surprised, and I'm just hoping that he is still pleasantly surprised when I tell him the identity of my girlfriend.

"Well... no." I know I'm stalling, but I'm hoping that he'll guess who it is before I have to tell him.

"She goes to Hillwood High? Who is she?"

"Um..." I trail off and turn away from him again. He seems happy for me. I mean, he's been pushing me to ask anyone out since last year.

"Come on, Man, who is it?"

"Well, we've been together for... a while now."

I hear him take a step toward me, "Quit holding out on my, Bro, who is it?"

I let out the breath I have been holding and turn to face him, but look down to the floor, "Listen, Gerald, I don't really know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to show you." I tell him and start walking past him and over to my bed.

"Come on, Arnold, it's not like you're dating _Helga _or anything."

I clench my teeth and pull open the drawer will all of our pictures in it and pull out my copy of us kissing. I stop to remember how she giggled into the kiss when I pulled her into me and took the picture and I smile at the memory. "Actually..." I turn around and hand him the picture.

He takes the picture with a small smile, but it falls flat when he looks at it. He looks up to me with wide eyes for a quick second before he looks back down to the picture. He looks up to me with a smile, but it's almost like he doesn't believe me. He starts laughing roughly and shuffling backward, "You're joking. You've got to be kidding, Arnold."

"It's true, Gerald. Helga and I are dating." I say with a smile, hoping for him to take me seriously.

"Alright, Man, what's the punch line?"

I'm really starting to get angry with him. "Gerald, I just showed you a picture of Helga and I smiling and kissing on my bed, and you think this is a joke?"

"I'm sorry man, but you're dating _Helga?!_" He says with a desperate expression.

"Yes, and I have been for a little over a year and a half." I say and cross my arms.

"_What?! _A year and a half? You've been dating Helga G. Pataki for a year and a half and you decide to tell me _now?_"

"Gerald, your reaction to my telling you this is _exactly _why we don't want anyone to know! I love Helga G. Pataki and if you can't respect that," I lean over and pull open my door, "then you can leave."

He looks to me with another pleading look, then back down to the picture in his hands, and I'm two seconds away from physically throwing him out. "A year and a half?" I only reply with a nod and recross my arms. "When exactly did you guys start dating?"

"Since Rhonda's bonfire at her parents beach house, the night before we left at exactly twelve thirty two AM."

"And you've been keeping it a secret this whole time?"

"We decided to keep it hidden from everyone because we were afraid that it would cause too much drama."

I hear him chuckle and he looks back down to the picture of us, "Good job. I had no idea." I says and hands me the picture back. I gaze at it for a few seconds, letting the image of us warm my chest before I look back to Gerald. "So, does anyone else know?"

"Just my parents." The harsh tone of the conversation is gone. Now it just feels like I'm telling him the facts.

"So not even Phoebe knows?"

"Nope," I see him look away and I continue, "and it needs to stay that way. I'm telling you now for a reason." I tell him and turn back around and reach back into the drawer after I replace our picture and dig out the brochure of the Inn we're going to and hand it to him. He looks over the front and the back, then flips it open. "I'm taking her there next weekend for a weekend away together."

He looks up to me, but doesn't lift his head with the brochure still open in front of him, "A weekend away together? Does that mean that you two have..." He lifts his hand and makes a gesture with his finger motioning from side to side.

I gasp a little at what he's asking me, and don't really know how much I'm comfortable telling him. "Well...you remember that smell you smelled that day last summer, and I said that we had a pipe burst?" He nods for a short moments before his eyes bug out and his head falls with a shake.

"So, in exchange for these images you just gave me, what do you need?" He asks and hands me back the brochure.

"I need you to cover for me." I tell him and take the brochure back and slip it back into my drawer.

"Cover for you?"

"Yeah. See, if I want to make this getaway happen, I can't let my parents know that I'm going to a bed and breakfast with my girlfriend for a weekend alone together. I need to tell them that I'm going somewhere that will seem likely. That's where you come in. I need you to back me up with I tell them that we're going to a concert next weekend and won't be back until Sunday night."

He sighs and starts shaking his head, "I don't know, Arnold."

"Gerald, I need this." I say and it gets his attention, "I've been sneaking around with her for a year and a half too long. I need to take us somewhere where we don't have to hide. I want to do this for her. She's always so paranoid about people finding out about us, and stressing over having to keep our relationship hidden that I'm surprised she hasn't had a heart attack yet." I really am worried about her well being lately. Ever since we got placed together in Chemistry, she is a nervous wreck in class.

"Alright." I feel a smile force its way onto my face at his answer. It feels like all the pieces have just been put in place, and that it's really going to happen. "Just let me work out the details tonight and I'll get back to you. You know, see what concerts are playing far enough out that weekend where we would have to go down there with your car and everything." He says and starts on his way out.

"Thanks Gerald. I owe you one." I say and pat him on the back.

"Yeah, yeah, don't mention it, Bro." He replies with a smile.

"Remember Gerald, you can't tell anyone about us." I stop him just before he starts down the stairs.

"No one? Not even Phoebe?"

"I mean it, Gerald, not even Phoebe."

"No one?"

"Not a soul!"

* * *

Okay, two pairs of jeans, check. Two shirts, check. Night wear, check. Heh, like I'll be wearing it for long. Toiletries, check.

Well, that's everything. He should be picking me up in a few minutes, and I'm doing my last minute scramble to make sure that I packed everything I'll need. He's driving the whole way, so I have a book sitting on top of my backpack to pass the time. He said that it's a two and a half hour drive to the Sanctuary Woods Inn. And I have a feeling that we're going to get lost on our way there. But it will be fun, that's what these trips are all about, the making of new, fun, adventurous, sweaty memories.

He said that he covered it with his parents, and told them that he's going to a concert out by the beach to see a band that he doesn't even like, and they seemed to honestly buy into it. I know he feels bad lying to his parents, and honestly, I do too. But we need this. Ever since he told me that he wants to take me away to this place, I've been so excited and fantasizing of what this weekend is going to be like, and I intend to make it live up to my wild expectations.

Luckily, Olga was caught up in her assistant teaching job to come home for the holiday, so I won't get stuck Christmas shopping with her again this year. And Bob is down at the store managing the Black Friday sales, leaving only Mariam passed out in bed. I feel my phone go off in my pocket and I dig it out. _Hey Babe, I'm outside. _

A smile bursts onto my face and I grab my stuff and dart out the door, downstairs and out the door, where I see his car waiting. I'm quick to get into his car, one because I don't want anyone to see me jumping into Arnold's car, and two because I want to leave and get this getaway started.

"Hey Babe!" I say with giddiness.

"Hey Beautiful." He says with his sly smile as he takes off. "You excited?" He asks when he pulls to a stop, and just as I pull up the hood of my jacket in case someone sees us.

"Are you kidding? This trip is all I've been thinking about for a solid month!" I say and slip on my sun glasses.

"Me too. I'm glad I thought of it."

There's a few minutes of anxious silence, and I'm very eager to get out of the city and on the freeway so I can take this stupid disguise off. "Hey," I calls to me when I feel the car stop. I look over to him and he's smiling over to me lovingly and reaching his hand out to me, and I put my hand in it without hesitation. "I love you."

"I love you more."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So, I decided to basically skip the more explicit part that I had originally intended on writing, basically because I found that once I wrote the part right before it, and then I wrote the end of the chapter, and read it through, it had the same feeling that I wanted it to have. **

**But, if you guys really, _really _want me to write the scene in between, then I will and will post it as a one shot, since that seems to be the best option for those of you who want me to keep it as a T rating. **

**On another side note, if any of you are artists, and would like to try your hand on designing me a cover for this story, please let me know! PM me if interested.**

* * *

"Hey Babe, all they have is pork rinds." I call from the other side of the convenient store.

"No pork rinds!" She yells from in front of the soda's. "You remember what happened last time."

"Oh yeah," I say to myself, the memories of our childhood drifting into my mind. "That was funny." I say and look down at the empty chip rack.

"Funny for you maybe. Try waking up the fire escape of the boy your in love with." She says next to me.

"Can't say Ive ever been in love with a boy, Helga."

"Shut it." She says playfully and pokes me in the side with her finger, two sodas in her hands.

We check out and climb back into the Packard, where Helga has a little nest set up for herself. We have been in the road for about forty five minutes, and we're still at least two hours away. But we still have plenty of time to get to the inn and still enjoy most of the day. The first fifteen minutes were only of her singing along with her favorite No Comply CD at the top of her lungs. She says it's therapeutic for her, like a release or something. She said that she doesn't think she's that good of a singer, but I didn't want to tell her how great she is because I knew if I did, she would stop.

I know it's coming. I knew she would do it when I saw that she had a book with her when I first picked her up. She knows that it's very dangerous, especially while I'm driving, and she knows how crazy it drives me, and how much I have a hard time controlling myself when she does do it, but we just got back onto the high way and she just pulled out her book and flipped open to the first page. "Helga..." I warn her, only glancing over to her. Sure enough she is pulling out the small black case that she keeps them in. Oh man, this is either going to end very badly, or very well.

"Hmm?" She hums innocently. She knows what she's doing.

"Can't you read without them?"

"It's not my fault that I inherited my mothers eyes, Football Head." She replies and snaps the case shut.

"You know I can't stand it when you wear your reading glasses." I plead.

"Oh?" I can hear mischief practically drip from her tone. I know it will kill me, because I want to get there in time, and I really do, and really don't want to see her with those small, frame-less glasses on. She looks so sexy when she wears her reading glasses, it drives me nuts. I hold my breath and check my mirrors to make sure that I'm clear to take my eyes off the road for a second, and glance over to her. God, she's so hot with her glasses on, I'm so close to pulling over.

"Helga, please, I'm begging you." I continue to plead and forcefully yank my eyes away from her.

"That's why this is so fun." She says to me in her low, husky voice that she only uses when she's trying to rile me up.

"Helga, I'm taking you on a romantic getaway. So the least you can do is make sure we get there in one piece. Once we do, I promise, you can torture me for the next two days straight." I say quickly and grip the steering wheel tighter with both hands.

"Really?" She asks with a gleeful lift in her voice.

"Yes." I see her pull her lower lip between her teeth with a smile and she pulls her glasses off and puts them back into their case.

"Can I get that in writing?"

* * *

It's always so fun to torture and tease him like that. In reality, I do need glasses to read, and because of that, I have yet to actually finish a chapter of a book when we are together. I don't know what it is about me wearing glasses, but nothing seems to turn him on faster. I smile slyly at the thought, tucking it away to pull out later tonight.

We've been on the road for a little over two hours now and it's just passing eleven o'clock in the morning. We turned onto a small, two lane high way a little bit ago, and we're deep into the upper Washington woods. The trees are so tall and lush, surprising for this late in the cold season. Arnold has had his eyes going from the piece of paper he wrote the directions on to the road for the past ten minutes. Theoretically, we should be there any minute, but we're going to a _secluded _bed and breakfast, and secluded usually en tales hard to find. But I know it will be worth it.

All the fights we've had about our hidden relationship, all the times I've had to explain to him why no one else can know and will never understand us as a couple, they're all going to be forgiven and forgotten this weekend. We're just going to spend two days loving each other. Being open, loving, and happy. Like we were meant to be. It's not even the physical part I'm looking forward to, it's the part right after. Getting to fall asleep together in each others arms. I usually end up being the big spoon, simply because he starts to get restless in his sleep if I'm not subconsciously petting his hair.

I love it when we fall asleep with his arms fully coiled around my midsection and his head laying just below my shoulder. It's the best way I can gaze at his beautifully sleeping, angelic face and still have his arms around me.

I'm lost in my mind when I feel the car stop. I look up and I feel a bit floored. This place is gorgeous. It really is secluded. The trees seem to engulf the whole place. From the outside, it just looks like a big log cabin, but I know that there's so much more to it. "Wow." I say and push open my door.

"This place is beautiful, huh?" He says from the other side of the car, which he just pushed himself out of. I look over and he is smiling beautifully, but softly up to the sky. I close my door and start around the front of the car over to him. I catch his eye when I'm only a few steps away and his soft smile turns into a loving smirk. I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist, entwining my fingers around his back, while his arms pull me in by the shoulders. "But not as beautiful as you." He continues.

My complete and endless love for him bursts through me, and it's so much that I can almost feel tears work their way into my eyes. I just love him so much, and can't believe that he cares for me, and loves me so much in return. We're staring right into each others eyes, and I can't look away from him. He's just so amazing to me. I take the last small step separating us and hug him tightly and bury my face into the crock of his neck. I love it when he wraps his arms around my shoulders and kisses my hair. "Don't ever leave me." I whisper to him against his skin. Inwardly, I hope he can't hear me.

"Why don't we check in, then we can settle in." He says and starts rubbing his palm against my upper back in a small circle.

I pull back and smile up to him. "Sure."

We take each others hands and quickly make our way up the set of wooden steps up to a door with glass windows, leaving our stuff behind to get later. We both reach for the knob, but he ends up pulling it open before I can reach it and we step in together and stop to take in the decor. There's a sofa and two chairs facing a sheet rock fireplace that's lit with a few small logs. On the far wall, there is a stair case leading up to the second floor where I'm guessing is there the rooms are, with what looks like the reception desk in the corner. To our right there is a small arch way leading into a dining area. From what I can see, there is about 5 or six tables that seat two, with small place settings and small bouquet of probably fake flowers as center pieces.

The whole place has a nice rustic, yet tasteful look to it. For our first weekend away together, I couldn't have asked for a better place for him to take me to. I feel him squeeze my hand, and I look over to him and see him still smirking lovingly to me.

* * *

She probably doesn't know it, but her eyes are dancing with excitement. I was really hoping for that look. It makes me feel like every lie I've told to make it this far with her has been worth it, that look in her eyes right now.

I give her hand another squeeze and nod my head over to where I saw the reception desk and she smiles a bit wider. We make our way across the room and up to the desk just as a short woman, probably about mid to late twenties with black hair stepped around the desk with a smile. "Hi there," she greets us friendlily, "you two must be Arnold and Helga." She says and flips open a large book, probably the log book or something.

"Yes, we are." I say with a smile and feel Helga step deeper into my side.

"Yes, I uh... actually meant to call you, Mr. Shortman, last week. The room you booked actually sprung a leak." I feel my stomach drop to the floor and feel Helga let go of my hand. "But," she continues and I feel Helga squeeze my hand harder than before, "in order to apologize for this incident, I have personally arranged for you to stay in suite five. It has the nicest view of any of the other rooms. And I've also taken the breakfast off your bill because of the inconvenience."

"Oh... Thanks." I say with another smile. Man, this weekend is already turning out better than I ever hoped it would.

"By the way," She says and turns around and grabs a key off one of the hooks behind her, "I'm Henrietta, or Etta for short. My parents are the actual owners, I just run the day to day operations."

"It's nice to meet you, Etta." I say and follow her up the stairs.

Etta leads us up the stairs and into a long hall way with two doors on either side of the hall way and one at the very end. She leads us to the door at the end and I feel an anxious feeling start to make my heart beat faster. Etta unlocks the door and pushes the door open and steps inside. Helga is first to move and pulls me with her into the room. "Wow..." I hear her say from the doorway.

"Yeah... wow." I say and take in the beautiful room.

The balcony is on the left side of the room, and the large sliding glass doors are enough to light up the room. The bed is at least a queen, and the frame looks like finished wood, but it's cut to look like tree branches. There are windows on either side of the bed and I can already see the tops of the pine trees stretch out as far as I can see. The bathroom is on the other side of the room, and I can see some fancy tile work on the wall of the shower. "This is one of our nicer rooms, and the view is just spectacular." Etta says from a few feet away.

"This is awesome, thank you." I say and give the room one more once over. Man, this is so nice. I'm definitely coming back here with her.

"Well, I'll let you two get settled in. I'll be just downstairs if you need anything." Etta says and moves around us. I smile in thanks and look over to my girlfriend after I feet her start to bounce up and down. Sure enough, she has one of her gorgeous smiles on, the kind where you can just feel her happiness radiate off of it. She only smiles like that when nothing is bothering her, and nothing is weighing her down. It doesn't happen very often, but I would give anything up, with the exception of her, just to see her smile like that for the rest of my life. "Breakfast is usually served around eight thirty. But if you're not up by then, we can certainly wait for you if you want."

"That's alright." Helga says and places her hand against my chest. "Don't hold up on our account." She says and smiles up at me.

"Okay then. Again, just let me know if you two need anything, and I'll be down stairs." Etta says and moves out of the room and down the hall way. I feel Helga tug on my arm after I looked to see if Etta closed the door behind her and see Helga pulling me toward the balcony. I laugh and follow her outside. Man, this place is like paradise. The tops of the trees seem to stretch out forever. Helga lets go of my hand and leans against the railing and I can almost hear her smile.

"This place is beautiful, Babe." She says.

I feel something fill my chest and I just have to wrap my arms around her waist from behind. "Yes," I tell her and start to push her hair off to the side with my nose, "you are." I press my lips to the soft, warm skin on her neck and I hear her giggle. I continue to tease her neck for a minute or two and she reaches behind her and runs her fingers into my hair.

"I thought I was going to do the torturing." She says in her low, husky voice, that sounds a bit breathless.

"You'll have your turn." I say and kiss her neck one last time. "I made a promise, didn't I? And believe me, I intend on keeping it."

She laughs and turns around in my arms and I lean against the railing, trapping her when she throws her arms around my neck. "You're so cheesy sometimes."

"Coming from the girl who actually named her fists when we were kids. What was it again? Ol' Betsy and..."

"The Five Avengers." She said with a proud smile.

"You know I don't even remember you actually using them on anyone except for Brainy." Oh crap. We made an agreement to not mention him, and I already feel terrible. Her smile disappears in the blink of an eye and I can tell that she's still blaming herself for what happened. I look down and pull her into me. "I'm sorry. I just forgot, that's all."

She wraps her arms tighter around my neck and lays her head down onto my shoulder, "I know."

It took a while, and a lot of sessions with Dr. Bliss to get her back to her old self after what happened to Brainy. But after when the word got out of how he actually died, it hit her pretty hard. When I heard, it almost didn't seem real, like something out of a movie or something. You hear about that kind of thing on the news, but you never think that it could ever actually happen. And even after Dr. Bliss telling her over and over again that it wasn't at all her fault, she still blames herself because it was a picture of her that they found in his hand. It was heartbreaking and very tragic. But still, whenever we heard what actually happened, and heard that it wasn't suicide, we were all a bit... disgusted, to put it lightly.

Great, now the mood is ruined. We were doing so well too. Okay, think of something to say that will bring my Helga back to me. The last time I mentioned it, and tried to reassure her, it didn't end how I planned it. I guess I should just lightly change the subject. "Hey," I say and cup her cheek and push her back to look her in the eye, "why don't we go get our stuff and we can get this getaway started."

She smiles up to me and leans up, pressing her lips to mine. It isn't heated or anything, but still, I don't want a day to go by when we don't kiss like this. When we kiss each other just to kiss each other, and because we love each other.

* * *

"Helga, you've been in there for forty five minutes!" I call from the bed. I've been sitting here waiting for her to come out of the bathroom, and I'm starting to get a little worried that something is wrong. Maybe she's still upset that I brought up the topic of Brainy again. But we had fun on our walk this afternoon, didn't we?

"Patience is a virtue, Football Head!" She calls back.

"One which I remember you _not having!_" I retort.

"I waited ten years to tell you that I was in love with you, and six more for you to get it through your thick, football shaped skull that I actually meant it. The least you can do is wait a few more minutes. I'll be out in a minute, so just... get in bed and wait for me."

I sigh and lean back against the bed and look out the glass doors of the balcony. I wonder how many stars are out tonight. "Hey," I hear her unmuffled voice call from the bathroom door.

Oh my god. She's killing me. "Where on earth did you get that?"

She smiles brightly and pulls her lower lip in between her teeth. "I stole it from Olga." She says and runs her arm up the door frame and curls her long, toned leg over the other long, toned leg. Christ, she's so sexy.

She's in a black nightie that only comes a few inches past her hips, with a small pink bow in the middle of her chest, her gorgeous hair coming down in long, silky curls. My heart is slamming so hard. I don't remember it slamming this hard even when we first kissed. She starts toward the bed, and she's swinging her hips with every slow stride shes taking, crossing her legs and smirking at me devilishly. "Is this what you meant by torture? Because you're killing me." It's getting so hard to keep myself from her.

She chuckles deeply and bends over and starts to crawl onto the bed seductively. She's never been like this before. Well, almost. Not like this anyway, she's teased me every once in a while, but never like this. I think I like it. "Well, I just need you alive a little bit longer." She says and before it's actually registered in my stuttering brain, she's straddling me and pushing me back down to the bed, towering over me. The low, dim light of the bedroom is casting dark orange shadows across her features, and it's both haunting and memorizing.

"Before we go any further, Baby," she starts, the low, seductive tone not in her voice anymore. "I just want you to know how much I love you for bringing us here. It's been a dream of mine to run away with you to somewhere like this. And now," She says and reaches down and takes my wrist and brings it to her lips, kissing my knuckles lightly before she presses my palm to her chest, just above her heart. Her skin is so hot. "You've not only made my dreams come true, but you are my dreams. And the fact that we're here now, together, on this beautiful night... I just want you to know that it means more than the world to me."

I lean up slowly and softly press her lips open with mine in an open, passionate kiss. I'm so lost in this woman, I don't think I ever want to find my way back.

She cups my jaw and our breaths are starting to get deeper, and my heart is pounding. "I love you, Helga."

She just presses me back in a heated kiss and pins me.

* * *

"Arnold?"

I'm on the edges of sleep, and I want to answer, but I'm just so tired.

"Baby?" She asks again and runs her fingers through my sweat stained hair. We ended up with my head on her shoulder and our legs tangled together. With her thin, small fingers running through my hair, I don't have the energy to answer her. "Are you awake?" She asks in a small voice, just above a whisper.

I simply nuzzle myself against her and tighten my arms around her midsection.

"Good."

Huh? What's she doing?

"You know, Baby, I don't think I ever told you this before." She starts with her soft voice and keeps running her fingers through my hair. I'm so tired, but I want to hear what she has to say more than I want to sleep. "Now, keep in mind that... I'm not saying tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or even in five years, but someday... I want you to propose to me."

I feel my breath hitch in my throat, but I keep quiet and let her continue.

"Maybe on the roof top where I first confessed to you... or the beach where we first kissed." She chuckles and runs her fingers through my hair again, "You could propose to me in a porta-potty and I'd still say yes."

I don't think I would ever propose to her in a porta-potty, but the beach is a pretty good idea.

"Then, I want us to get married. Maybe... on a hillside somewhere. We could invite our families. Well... your family. I don't think mine would care enough to show up."

I'm seriously fighting the urge to call out to her, because I can hear tears in her voice.

"And our friends. Well... your friends. The only friend I have is Phoebe. And honestly, I don't think she'll stick around for much longer."

Helga, that couldn't be any less true. You're like a sister to Phoebe and we all know that. Phoebe needs you.

"Who am I kidding? We might as well not even have any chairs on my side."

Her voice is so tear ridden that it's killing me to keep still.

"But it doesn't matter," She says after a sniffle, "I'll have you, and that's all I'll ever need. I don't care if no one shows up. The only person I want at our wedding is you, Baby."

We've never really talked about getting married someday, but I guess I never thought about it until now. I know that it should probably scare me, but for some reason, it doesn't scare me at all. It makes me happy that she's talking so seriously about wanting to marry me.

"Then, maybe sometime down the road... I don't know, maybe we could try for a baby."

A baby? I never thought Helga would ever want kids. I know I do, but I never thought she would.

"I don't really know why. I mean, I know for a fact that I'll probably make a terrible mother."

That's not true, Helga, you'll be an amazing mother and I know that.

"But I know you'll make up for it. You'll be a terrific father someday. And I know that you might want a boy, for me to give you a son, to carry on the Shortman name or whatever, but I've always wanted a little girl. Just so I could show my parents how you really raise a daughter. I'd show her the love she deserves. I wouldn't ignore her, forget her name, or forget to pack her lunch for school, or let them walk to preschool alone in the rain. I'd love her unconditionally and make sure that she knows that, no matter what."

Her voice still have tears in it, and it's breaking my heart that she has this resentment for her parents.

"I know, you'll probably go off to college and meet someone else."

I'm not leaving you, Helga. Ever.

"But maybe, if I'm lucky, you'd still think of me ever once in a while. Maybe you'd just know that I loved you with all of my heart and my soul. And that I'll never love someone like I love you, Arnold."

How could she ever think that I'd ever leave her? I thought she knew that I loved her more than anything else in the world. Even the thought of this future that she pictured for us, it's a dream that I couldn't be any happier with if it came true. But the one that she has for us that she thinks will actually happen, it feel like a knife just got shoved into my chest at the thought of my having to spend the rest of my life with someone other than her.

I lay motionless until her breathing starts to get slower and more even, and her heartbeat is slow under my ear before I speak. I press my lips to her skin and move up the bed to lay my head down onto the pillow beside hers. "I'm never leaving you, Helga. If that's the future you want, then that's the future you'll get."

She lets out a small breath and turns to face me on her side. I smile and kiss her forehead.

* * *

**A/N: hi-five to anyone who can tell me how brainy died. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Only one person guess right without any hints as to how Brainy died, but they were a guess reviewer. So whomever you are, kudos. You guessed right first! **

**I know I've been lax on updates, but I've been working a lot. Sorry :( **

She's so pretty when she's asleep.

She always looks so calm and at peace, relaxed. And those few short moments when she first wakes up, and opens her perfectly bright sky blue eyes and sees that I'm staring at her, my heart always melts. They always light up with happiness. And the sleepy smile that curls onto her lips when she lets her eyes drift shut again, every time it happens, I feel myself fall for her all over again.

She's laying on her side facing me, with one hand under one of her pillows and the other laying between us. The covers are just below her shoulder, and her hair is fanned out behind her, but there are a few strands in front of her eyes. I don't want to wake her up, but at the same time, I really want to see her wake up. And she's a pretty heavy sleeper, maybe she won't feel it. I reach up and lightly ghost my finger over her forehead and move her hair out of the way, and she nuzzles herself deeper into the pillow when I pull my hand away.

It's so pretty outside. There aren't any shadows at all, and the sky is so blue, I can't even see any clouds. It even looks pretty warm for late November. We should go for another walk today. We didn't get very far yesterday, and I heard that there was a lake somewhere nearby when we got back. I always thought that Mom was teaching me what she knew about plants just as a way to get closer to me, but I actually found it very useful. And impressing Helga was a bonus.

That last moan was a bit long.

"Mmmm..." She rolls onto her back and her arms reach up above her and she starts to stretch. My sleeping beauty is finally awake. Her eyes slowly open and look up at the ceiling, and I can tell that the memories haven't come back to her yet. She might still be caught up in whatever dream she was having. Her eyes catch mine and a smile bursts onto her sleepy expression, and I feel myself smile brightly in return. "Hey..." She says in a whisper.

"Hey you." I say and continue to look down at her as she stretches fully one more time. I'm hoping she'll ask me how long I've been watching her sleep, just so I can tell her the answer that I thought of about twenty minutes ago.

"You watching me sleep again, Football Head?" Eh, close enough I guess.

"You know I can't help it, Helga. If there weren't any downsides, I would watch you sleep all day, but then I wouldn't get to hear your voice anymore." I wanted to say 'not long enough' when she asked me how long I've been watching her. But I guess that will have to do.

"You're such a sap." She says sleepily and reaches for me.

"Guilty as charged, Babe." I say and lean down to her and press our lips together. I can feel her pull me in more by the shoulders, so I roll slightly on top of her as our lips work against each other sweetly. She runs her fingers into my hair and I feel her tongue run against the roof of my mouth and feel the smooth skin of her leg run up mine just before she hooks her foot around my ankle. The next motion of her lips makes me moan it feels so good and I don't know if we're going any further or not. I push myself up and her lips are swollen but she still has a smile on. "So..." I begin and wait for her to look up at me. Her eyes open and I can see her pupils dancing. "What do you want to do today?"

"We were already doing what I want to do today. And I'd like to get back to it, if you don't mind."

I smile and lean down into her again.

* * *

Man, I just can't really believe it. I mean, literally, I don't really believe it, but I know it's true. That's whats scarey. It's true. My man Arnold, and Helga are dating. He even said that he's in _love _with her! I had a feeling that he was holding something out on me for a while, but this? I thought that he had a girl in another state, that he met online maybe, or just goes to a rival high school or something, but I never in a million years thought that he would be dating the one person whose goal it was to make his life a living hell.

I don't know why I don't feel hurt. I mean, we're supposed to be best friends, why didn't he tell me about this sooner? And if he wasn't on this trip with her and needed me to cover for him with his parents, would he have ever told me? Whose going to be best man at their wedding if not me? Would I even be there?

I guess, when I look at what their situation is though, I get it. Helga doesn't have a glowing rep around school, and Arnold is _Arnold. _He's one of the most popular guys in school. So I guess that if people were to find out that he's going with Helga, I guess I can see how people would react. So I guess I know why they're keeping it a secret. But why from me?

I saw the picture he showed me and they looked pretty dam happy. I don't think I've ever seen Helga smile without it having some evil behind it before I saw that picture.

Maybe it wasn't his choice not to tell me. But I always thought Helga didn't give a crap what people thought of her. That's how she always came off to me. I guess that's why people never really felt bad about making her the butt of their jokes. But now, I feel bad for all of the jokes that I laughed at where she was involved in. Now, I don't feel proud admitting that there was more than a few times where the guys and I would be sitting around and we'd be talking and her name would come up, and we'd say that it would be a curse to have her as a girlfriend.

But Arnold seems to enjoy it. Seeing as they've been together a year and a freaking half. And now that I know this secret, I have to tell someone. Anyone, really. But I swore to my man that I would keep it on the down low, and they've been pretty good at hiding it, I guess I need to be too. But still, I wonder what Phoebe would say if her best friend has been dating my best friend.

Huh. That's funny. I never thought about that.

Helga's best friend is my girlfriend now. And Arnold's girlfriend is my girlfriends best friend. But Helga and me still pretty much hate each other. I don't know what Arnold sees in Helga, but whatever it is, he's willing to toss me down a few flights of stairs over it.

I jump up the stairs of Phoebe's stoop and knock on the door and wait for it to open. She texted me this morning and wanted to go to some science thing that they're having down at the Planetarium. She's been visiting out of state family for the last week, so she wants to spend some time together before we go back to school. She gets so cute when she's excited about something. She gets all bubbly. The front door opens and it's her dad on the other side. "Hello Gerald." He says with a smile.

I smile nervously and try to push my shoulders back out, "Hi Mr. Heyerdahl. Phoebe wanted to go to the Planetarium today."

"Yes, come on in. She's upstairs." He steps aside and nervously make my way past him and inside. "Phoebe, Gerald is here." He calls upstairs.

"Okay, thank you, Father. Send him up." I hear her call back down from her room. Her dad sends me a smile and lifts his hand up the stairs and I flash him another nervous smile and start up the stairs. Ever since he showed me his fencing room and his sword collection the night I picked Phoebe up for our first date, he scares the hell out of me. I make it to the top of the stairs and I let out the breath that I was holding, and I feel myself relax. I knock on her door a few times before I just barge in. "Come in."

I open her door and smile over to her. She's sitting at her desk, clicking away at her laptop. She looks so cute when she goes casual. She's in a pair of light blue jeans and a pair of ballet flats and a powder blue t-shirt with her hair let down. "Will your dad ever like me?"

"He does like you, Gerald." She said lightly and closes her laptop. "He just doesn't know how to act. I've never had a boyfriend before, so he doesn't know how protective is too protective yet. Give it time." I lean down and press my lips to hers lightly. I love the height difference between us. She doesn't even come past my shoulders. "You ready?"

"Yep."

"I was reading the planetariums website, and it said that if you're in a group of three, they take thirty percent off the ticket price, so I was thinking we could invite Arnold." She says when she goes to pick up her purse.

"Oh, uh... He's um... out of town." I wasn't expecting to have to lie to her so soon, I didn't have anything prepared. I don't want to lie to her, but Arnold is my man, and I gave him my word.

"Really? Where'd he go?" She asks casually and lifts her purse over her shoulder.

"Um... he went to uh... a-a concert down by the beach for the weekend." Crap, that was the lie I told his parents, and in that lie, I went with him.

Phoebe's glaring at me blankly now. She knows I'm lying. I'm so dead. "You know, don't you?"

Oh crap oh crap oh crap, "Uh... k-know what, Baby?"

"About Arnold and Helga. You know that they're dating, don't you."

"Wait... _you _know that they're together?"

"Yes." She says plainly.

"Helga told you?"

"No."

"Then how..."

"Helga may put on a strong front, but she's an open book to me, Gerald. I've known they were dating for a long time."

I can't even think straight, I'm reeling so bad. "But... Arnold told me that the only people that know are his parents."

Phoebe chuckles and looks away, "I'm guessing Stella finally caught on."

"Wait wait wait... So... you've known about them the _entire _time?"

"Pretty much." She says with a shrug.

"Why haven't you told me!?"

"Because I also know that they want to keep it a secret. Just because I know that secret doesn't mean that I have the right to go and tell the world about it."

"Does Helga know that you know?"

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" She says with a raised brow. "Obviously, Helga doesn't want anyone to know that she and Arnold are dating, and if she doesn't trust me enough to know, then so be it. I'll still be here when she does decide to tell me, just like I was before."

"What do you mean before?"

"Gerald, Helga has been in love with Arnold since Urban Tots."

"_What?!" _I just can't believe this anymore. This is some kind of a dream. This is a prank or something. "Then why the hell did she torture him so bad?"

"Why do you think, Gerald? Because she didn't want him to know. That's the first and foremost rule of secret loves."

"So... you've known about this whole thing for years, and kept it to yourself?"

"Yes."

"How? I mean, Arnold only told me a week ago and it's killing me not telling anybody." I start pacing across her bedroom floor and she's just standing there with her one hand on the strap of her purse and the other down by her side, and I can feel her eyes following me. "I just... Arnold and Helga!" I say and fall onto her bed. This whole thing is exhausting.

"Come on, Gerald, you can't be that surprised." She says and sits back down into her chair in her desk and turns to face me. "You remember how they were freshman year. Everybody thought that they were going to get together, or they thought that they already were."

"I remember them spending some time together, but Helga didn't really seem interested or anything." Freshman year was a weird year for all of us. I remember the rumors of them getting together, but Arnold said that they were just rumors and that they weren't together. "How'd you find out?"

"Their body language shifted drastically during the beach trip that Rhonda took us on. They were acting really nervous around each other all of the sudden, and after we went back to school, they weren't acting like friends anymore. I figured something must have happened, and I thought that they got into a big fight until I saw that Helga wasn't as depressed as she used to be. I was waiting for her to tell me that her and Arnold had taken the next step in their relationship, but that has yet to happen."

"I just can't see them together."

"Really? I always thought they'd be good for each other." She says with a smile.

"Why's that?"

"Think about it, Gerald. Arnold needs someone to show the bright side that he's always looking on to, and Helga needs to be shown that bright side. And obviously, they're a perfect fit for each other, seeing as they've been together for this long."

"I guess." There's another pause, and it feels good to have someone to talk about this with.

"You know, I've been holding their secret in for so long, it feels good to tell somebody."

"So... do you think they'll ever tell us?"

She sighs and leans back in her chair, "With as long as Helga kept her secret hidden, she may never tell me. She only told me because she had to. And she doesn't even know that I know about her and Arnold."

"Yeah, Arnold only told me because he needed me to cover for him while they went on a weekend getaway. Said something about needing to take her somewhere where they didn't have to hide." Phoebe smiles one of her small smiles and looks down at her nails. "So, Helga only told you because she had to?"

"The first time, yes."

"What do you mean?"

I can see sadness wash across her face, and I know it's going to be rough. "She came to me in tears one afternoon in the seventh grade."

"Seventh grade is when Arnold got together with Lila."

"Exactly." She says with her eyes on me. "Arnold was chasing after her for so long, and I think Helga knew that it wouldn't happen because Lila wasn't interested, so she felt that she had a shot. But when Lila said yes, I think it just... tore her whole world apart. She burst into my bedroom that afternoon and broke down in my lap. That's when she finally told me everything."

"But Arnold told me him and Lila never really hit it off. He said that she never wanted to do anything, and that all she wanted to do was sit at home at watch Little House on the Prairie."

"That maybe true, but you have to look at it from Helga's perspective, Gerald. She was in love with him and he, without knowing it, basically slapped her in the face. I think he may still feel bad about it, for not knowing sooner."

She's known all of this all these years, and watched from the sidelines. I wonder what would have happened if she had spoken up about it. But what amazes me is that she figured it out on her own. I mean, everybody knew for a fact that Helga hated everybody, especially Arnold. Facts of life, sky is blue, grass is green, Helga hates Arnold, that's how it was. But now, knowing that she was in love with him the whole time...

"You do know that you can't tell anyone about this conversation, right?" She says, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, I know."

"No, I mean it, Gerald. As far as everybody else is concerned, Helga and Arnold hate each other, and I don't know that they're together, okay?"

"But Pheeb, what if we just sit down with them and tell them that we know. I mean, we're all friends, aren't we? Why do we have to lie to each other?"

"You and Helga despise each other, Gerald." She said matter-of-factly.

"Hey, she's my mans girl, so as far as I'm concerned, she's okay in my book." I've been telling myself that for the past week, but I don't think it's sunk in yet.

Phoebe smiles for the first time in what feels like a long time. Really, it's only been a few minutes since I came in, but this whole conversation, and everything that she's told me she knows, I'm starting to get a head ache. It's going to take a while to process this whole thing. "Helga's a good person, Gerald. She's just..."

"What?"

She lets out a sigh and starts picking at her nails, she only does that when she's nervous about something. "Scared."

* * *

"I don't want to leave." I whine. I really, _really _don't want to leave. This place is a paradise. It's been so amazing waking up next to him, without fear of his parents walking in on us just staring into each others eyes. I don't want to go back. I just want to stay here with him forever, loving each other, being with each other. This weekend, not having to hide, it's made the thought of going back to school and pretending to hate him sickening.

"Neither do I." He said and wraps his arms around my waist from behind.

We have to go back to school tomorrow, and it's Sunday afternoon. We still have a two hour drive ahead of us, and I'm guessing it will be dark by the time he drops me off. I want to go home with him though. I don't want to go back to my house. All that whispering I did to him every night after he fell asleep of what I want our future to be, it's been stuck in my head. And the longer it's in there, the harder it will be to get over when it doesn't happen.

"We need to come back here one day. To this room." He says against my hair.

"Yeah." Maybe for our honeymoon.

I turn around in his arms and weave my arms around his neck, laying my head down on his shoulder. This weekend has been so amazing. It's made the thought of returning back to school a freaking nightmare. I just want to stay with him, away from everybody and everything forever. I hear him sigh and he rubs my back, "We should get going. I told my mom I'd be back by seven, and it's already four o'clock."

I lift my head off his shoulder and look up to his emerald eyes, and pause for a moment when I catch the sight of the setting sun reflecting in them. "I don't want to go back." I say softly. Crap, I'm getting emotional again.

"It's going to be okay, Babe. I promise. Whatever we face, whatever they throw at us, we can take it. And you want to know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't give a dam what they say. I love you, and that's enough for me."

I smile sadly and place my hand gently on his head, petting his wild hair back. "You know, that sounds like the lyrics of an eighties power ballad."

"... And it's ruined."

I laugh and pull him down to me. He knows I can't help but laugh whenever he cusses.

* * *

I'm glad that she let me have the radio on the way back. I love her singing voice, but sometimes, I just need something easy going.

It's getting a little dark. But we're almost home, we got into Hillwood about ten minutes ago, so we should be home any minute. Helga's reading the book she brought with her next to me, while I listen to Autumn Leaves on the radio. It's one of my favorite sings. She has her glasses on, but we ended up making love one last time before we checked out of our room.

This weekend has been so amazing, almost like a dream. But now that it's over, reality is setting back in. I've been two of the most amazing, romantic days with the woman I love, not having to hide who we are, and I don't want to go back. All the lies, the stress, the worries, it all feels overwhelming when I think about it at once. But I know that we'll fall into things easily enough.

I pull to a stop in front of her house and wait for her to look up from her book. She lifts her head with wondering eyes, and luckily, it's kind of dark so I can't see her face clearly enough to see those small, rimless reading glasses she wears. I hear her sigh and see her take her glasses off and put them back into her case. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"With bells and whistles." She says and leans over and presses her lips to mine. Mmm, she tastes like chocolate. I think it's from that candy bar she bought when I stopped for gas. She usually pulls away by now, but she's still kissing me. I feel her scoot herself closer and I reach up and cup her cheek and kiss her just a little harder. I can feel her hands on my neck as our lips work together, and our kisses are getting longer, and more passionate. She runs her fingers into my hair and with one last, long kiss, she pulls away with a pluck after sucking in my bottom lip and leans back with a smile. "I love you, Arnold."

"I love you too, Helga." She smiles brighter and kisses me one more time before she grabs her backpack and hops out. I roll down my window and wait for her to get to the other side of the car. "Hey," I call before she gets to her stoop. She looks back and I lean out slightly, "One more." I hear her giggle and she prances over to the window and leans down and kisses me sweetly one more time.

"We still meeting during first period tomorrow?" She asks me and leans against the door.

"I'll be there."

"Kay," She says with another smile and leans down and kisses me one more time. "Love you." She says as she turns around.

"Love you too, Babe!" I call just as she's opening her door.

I pull away from the curb and drive down the street and stop at the stoplight ahead of me. This light always takes forever to change. I sigh and lean back in the driver seat, but I can feel someone watching me. I look over, and I feel my heart stop.

With wide eyes, standing on the corner, obviously having seen everything, is Matt.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: No other reason for the delay other than laziness and work. Get home from ten hour days, tell myself all day I'm going to write, end up doing nothing. Sorry guys :( **

**Also, more importantly. I've been strongly suggested that I go back and edit chapter ten and add in the sex scene, which I'm not opposed to doing, and uping the rating, which I'm also not opposed to doing. If I do, it will give me a little more le-way as far as language is concerned, because Helga, being Helga, cusses. And I know a punk rocker when I see one, and Helga G. Pataki is pretty punk rock. **

He's late. He's never late.

I've been standing here in the dark in our supply closet for over ten minute now. We should have had our fix of each other by now. And I had a surprise for him today too. I wanted him to be the first to see it. But I guess I'll have to gauge his hidden reaction in chemistry. I don't know why, maybe I just felt nostalgic, but I decided to put my hair back up in my old pig tails. Maybe it's not a good look when you look at my dark green cargo pants and hooded utility jacket. But I wanted to do it for him, just to make him laugh.

This weekend was so amazing too. Like a dream that I have yet to wake from. Just one weekend away with no worries at all. We should have taken more pictures. We took plenty, and we even took a picture with Etta, and her mother Carol. But most of them were of just us. Some of just him that I snagged when he was leaning down and picking flowers to tell me what they could be used for, and one of him looking over the balcony of our room. That's probably my favorite. It was during sunset and he just looked so handsome.

I guess I should be getting back to class. I open the door as quietly as possible and check both directions to make sure the coast is clear and them move down the hall back to class. Today's going to suck, I can already tell.

First period goes by normally, and then I'm down the hall to head to Algebra. At least I'll have a chance to catch up with Pheebs. I saw we had a sub whenever I passed by this morning. I catch her eyes and smile just as she turns into the room. She's staring at me, but she has a smile on nonetheless. "Felt nostalgic, Helga?"

"Kinda sorta." I shrug. She chuckles and moves to her desk.

"How was your break, Helga?" She asks after setting her books down.

"Eh, ended up microwaving meatloaf for Thanksgiving. Bob was at the shop and Mariam was... well, she was Mariam."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Helga." She says and averts her eyes. She says that a lot, and sometimes it gets to me depending on what mood I'm in. But I can always tell that she means it, at least most of the time.

"Honestly, I think it would have been worse if everyone actually _did _come together for the holiday." I try not to complain too much about my home life, or lake there of. Most of the complaining I do is to Arnold, actually, all of it is to Arnold, but on a rare occasion, I'll give Bliss a call for old time sake.

I wonder how Bliss is doing nowadays.

* * *

I've never been this scared before. It feels like everything is about to fall apart. Like the feeling you get when your standing on a steep ledge and your afraid you'll fall off. That anxious feeling, the feeling that if you make one wrong step, everything you'll know will be gone.

Matt saw Helga get out of my car, and lean down in my window and kiss me. Out of all the ways I worried about us getting outed, Matt is probably the last person I would want to be the person to out us. I think he still has it out for me for standing up to him during marching season. I wasn't thinking. What was wrong with me! Anyone could have seen us! We're always very careful whenever I'm driving her anywhere. Especially when I drop her off. She usually has me drop her off a block away, or even around the back, but we weren't in that mentality. We were still coming back from our love sick state.

I'm terrified that Matt has spread the word around the entire school already. That's what any normal person would do. Helga is known for being mean and pretty much intolerant of everyone. So I don't think people would understand what we have together.

Wow, up until now, I don't think I really understood Helga's fears.

I'm only a couple minutes away from school, and I'm tempted to just keep driving. But I pull into a parking spot anyway after a short drive. Everything seems to be going okay. Everyone seems normal, no one's staring at me. I take a deep breath to try and muster up as much courage as I can, but all it does is make me sick to my stomach. I grab my stuff off the passenger seat and climb out of the Packard and close the door, waiting for the looks to start, but everybody just keeps walking through the parking lot on their way to class.

The band kids, well the color guard anyway, are in their usual spot in front of the outside entrance near the band room. I usually don't go that way, but I have this urge to attract as little attention as possible. I don't know why though. "Hey Arnold." One of the color guard says to me when I pass. I flash whoever it was a smile and pull open the door. I didn't see whoever it was greeted me, and I feel a little bad for not really saying hello back, but I have other, more important things on my mind.

I reach one of the main hallways and I'm frantically looking around for someone to be staring and snickering at me. But everyone just seems to be going about their normal morning routines. I start slowly down the hallway with my hands buried deep in my pockets. After a minute of squeezing past a few crowds of people, I feel my phone vibrate against my hand in my pocket. It scares me a little, and I may have jumped a bit. I don't really remember. I take a quick look around before I reach my locker and pull my phone out.

Oh no.

_Matt: Meet me in the instrument room before first period. _

I reread the message a few times, but it still says the same thing. I shove my phone back in my pocket and speed walk down the hall back toward the band room. I have about five minutes before the first bell rings, so I have time, but I want to get there as soon as possible. I pull open the door to the band room and quickly walk across the band room. "What's up, Arnold?" Someone asks me.

"Hey," I say quickly without stopping to even see who it is. I walk toward the back and turn the corner into the room where we keep our instruments. It's not very well lit, and color guard has their period first period, so no one will be in here for at least two periods.

"Hey Arnold." A familiar voice says from across the room. It sounds so cold that it sends a shiver down my spine.

"Matt?"

"You know, I thought you were gay." He said and steps forward.

"How flattering." I reply.

"But I never knew that you liked them dirty." I feel my fists tighten and my jaw click. "But here I find out that Arnold is sleeping with the she-beast." I never knew this kind of anger existed. I feel like if he says one more word about her, I'll snap.

"What are you going to do, Matt?"

"I'm going to blackmail you." I says with a grin. "I couldn't imagine what people would think of you if they found out that you decided to go through the sewers to find someone."

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm lunging forward and grabbing his collar and pushing him against the wall. "Say another word about her and I'll-"

"You'll what?" He says and grabs onto my wrists. "Everybody knows you're too much of a pussy to fight anybody. And if you don't take your hands off me, everybody's going to know something else too."

I let out a deep breath, and force my fists to let go of his shirt and take a step back, but they still feel like they want to punch something. He shrugs his shirt back into place and dusts off his shoulder. "What do you want, Matt?"

"I'll think of something." I says with another grin and starts out of the room.

"I want your word." I say before he leaves.

He turns back to me, "What?"

"I want your word that you won't say anything." I say and step up to him.

He flashes me another one of his fake smiles and I see him extend his hand out of the corner of my eye. I sigh out of frustration and put my hand in his and tighten it as much as I can, hoping he'll get the message. "I'll be in touch." He says and steps out of the room.

I don't trust him at all.

I start out of the band room, and I know I'm going to be late for first period. But I can't worry about that right now. I'm on the verge of having the most important thing in my whole life ripped away from me. What am I going to tell her? She's going to kill me when she finds out that someone saw us. I'm so afraid of her reaction. She can get a bit dramatic at times, but this time, she has every right to be dramatic. And honestly, so do I, but I know I have to be reasonable about this whole thing.

I have to think that Matt will keep his word and not say anything to anyone, and I'll just do whatever he says.

And as long as Matt doesn't say anything, neither will I.

I feel my gut clench at the decision, but I know that it's for the best. I can't tell her about this. I hate myself so much right now.

I walk into first period and sit down in my desk and put my head on my hand. We're suppose to meet in the supply closet this morning too. But I can't go now. I'm surprised we haven't drawn any attention as it is, so I'm not about to risk it now, especially with out secret on the verge of being exposed to everyone in the entire school.

She's going to be so mad that I stood her up, but I'd rather deal with her being mad about that, then torn apart and frantic about someone knowing about us.

First and second period go by in a blur. I can't get my mind off what's happening. I've always sort of went along with Helga's insecurities, and tried my best to help her cope with them because I love her. But I've never pushed her. I haven't helped her overcome them. I've just helped her live with them. Maybe if I'd pushed her a little more, instead of worrying about keeping things steady between us, we wouldn't be in this mess.

But she'd hate me then too. I've went along with her fear of people not understanding us since we've been together and never truly understood it. But now, I get it. People can't understand what we have together. They could never understand why I love Helga so much. They'd see us and think that we didn't belong together, and wouldn't stop until we aren't together anymore. And I can't let that happen. I have to keep people from knowing about us. And that means giving into whatever Matt wants me to do. I'm scared of what he has planned, and maybe he was just bluffing about the whole blackmailing thing, but I don't want to test him.

I wish I could tell her about all this. But I can't. I've been lying to everyone else about us being together, now I have to lie to her to keep us together.

* * *

New seats again? Well, it was a fun month while it lasted I guess, writing each other notes, just being next to him is enough for me.

But at least I'll finally get to see his reaction to my new hair style, or rather old hair style. I've gotten a few weird looks from people, and some even weirder looks from people I went to elementary school with. Sid's eyes nearly bugged out of his head whenever he saw me in between first and second period. I sit in my seat and wait for him to enter. He usually comes in at the last minute. I'm so anxious to see his reaction, and I feel myself smile at the thought of his eyes lighting up with amusement when he first sees it.

I see his red flannel shirt out of the corner of my eye and feel my heart swell. I quickly look over to him, but feel my smile fall. Somethings wrong. I know those bright green eyes more than I know my own, and I know when something is bothering him. I have a feeling that him not meeting me at our supply closet has something to do with the worry he has in his pupils.

He has his hands stuffed in his pockets and the sleeves of his flannel t-shirt rolled down, he even has a few of the buttons actually buttoned. He stopped buttoning the buttons in middle school. Something is wrong.

"Alright, new seats. Y'all head to the back." Dr. Morrison says with his clipboard. The bell hasn't even rung yet. I can't take my eyes off him. We just came back from the best getaway imaginable, what could have him looking this worried? He doesn't even look at me when he leans against the counter with his hands still in his pockets, his head hung low. I want to go over to him, but some one leans on the other side of him and blocks me. I settle for leaning against the counter on the other side of the room, hoping he'll feel my eyes on him.

Dr. Morrison assigns us our new seats, and Arnold and I end up on opposite sides of the room. I can't even stare at him from the angle. The class goes on and I would text him, but I got seated in the second row and Morrison is giving another one of his long lectures. And I don't trust the girl next to me not to nark on me for texting in class.

The hour drags by and I'm slow to gather my things, waiting to see him pass in front of me on his way out. I want to catch up with him. Something is wrong with my love and I need to know what it is. He passes in front of me as lonesomely as he did when he came in and I quickly get out of my seat and follow him. He's walking pretty fast. "Arnold." I try to get his attention, but he ignores me. "Hey!"

"What Helga?" He says darkly and pushes the door open to the outside sidewalk.

"What's wrong?" I ask in the most sincere voice I can.

"Nothing." He's not even looking at me. "I'll see you later, Helga." He says and breaks out into a jog. I'm so floored that I can't muster up the nerve to follow him. What's wrong? He's not even acting like my boyfriend anymore. He's acting like he doesn't even know me. I'm broken out of my thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I quickly dig it out and see I have a text from him.

_I'm sorry, just keeping up the act. I love you, Babe. _

Keeping up the act?

Oh. I can't believe I forgot. He's not supposed to act like my boyfriend. I guess I've been so high from our getaway that I didn't bother to get back into the right frame of mind. I sigh and put on a somewhat fake scowl and turn to head to my next class until I feel my phone go off again.

_And I loved the hair. :) _

I feel a small smile force its way out despite what just happened. _You owe me a make out session, Football Head. _

* * *

"So, Matt knows and he says he's going to black mail you?" Gerald asks me for what feels like the millionth time.

"Yeah. You know, I never really gave Helga's insecurities that much credit, I sort of just went along with them. But now, I get it. I mean, even _you _don't understand us as a couple."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm out in the town square telling people to get their pitchforks and torches. I may not understand whatever it is you two got going on, but as long as you two are happy doing it, that's enough for me."

I'm a little taken back by what he just said. I didn't expect that much from him so soon. "Thanks Gerald." I say honestly.

"Hey man, we're brothers. We look out for each other. So if this guy gives you any more grief, just let me know." He says with a big smile as he points his thumb to his chest.

"I appreciate it, Gerald, but I can handle it. I don't need you going all... racial stereotype on me."

He pushes himself off the couch and turns to head for the door, "Hey, it's my job as the token black guy of the school." He says and opens the door. "I'll see you later, Arnold."

"Yeah, later Gerald." I close the door behind him and fall onto the couch with a thud. I may not be able to tell Helga, but seeing as Gerald already knows about us, I figured he might be able to help me come up with a solution, which he didn't. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I feel so paranoid that Matt was just bluffing about the whole black mailing thing and is telling everybody he can about Helga and I.

I'm broken out of my thoughts by the sound of a soft knock on my door, "Come in." I say and lean back against the couch heavily.

"Hey Babe." Helga says in her soft, caring voice. I hated acting so distant to her today, but I didn't want anyone else to catch on. She moves to sit down next to me and ends up smashing her side into mine and wrapping her arms around my chest. I feel my worries melt away at her contact and move my arm around her shoulders to pull her in. "You were acting a little depressed today, is anything wrong?"

I look down to those beautiful baby blue eyes that are looking up at me from her place laying her head down on my shoulder. She's giving me a puppy dog look on purpose, but I love it anyway. "No," I say with a smile and kiss her forehead sweetly. "Nothings wrong."

"You know, I did my hair for you today, and that's the reaction I get?" She says with a new, more annoyed tone in her voice.

I really did love her hair today, but I had other things on my mind and I couldn't really enjoy it. "I love it, Helga. And I'm sorry for standing you up this morning. I had a pop quiz in first period that I couldn't get excused from." Another lie, that's two in less than one minute. I told myself that I would never lie to her. But I just broke that promise twice in less than sixty seconds.

"You still owe me a make out session, _Football head!" _Football head sounded like it used to, like an insult, like she's angry at me, but I know she's just being playful.

"Why don't I cash in that rain check right now?" I say. I grab onto her wrists and move her arms around my neck, never breaking eye contact with those big, bright blue eyes.

She lets a bright smile burst onto her face as her eyes go down to my lips, and I lean forward and press our lips together. For some reason, it feels like we haven't kissed in a really long time. I push her into my when my hands start roaming to her back and I can feel her start to get restless.

I know that it's snowballing, and I'm not going to stop it. But I still hate myself for lying to her.

But I have to if I want her to stay.


End file.
